Noir Within Light
by FCKHNY
Summary: "Change is constant. Death is inevitable. Hope is chance. But love..? Love is frail, a distraction. Love gets in the way of survival, and quite frankly.. you're in my way." For this impractical world of darkness, tragedy has risen to its pinnacle. He was humanities greatest soldier, she did not want anything to do with him. Only she was driven, and he had delved into her virtue.
1. Initiation

I was lined up with my hands behind my back. I watched former commander of the Scout Regiment, Keith Shadis, who was towering over each trainee. He told me this morning he will treat me like any cadet, but even the mindless Titans knew that wasn't true. He never did that when he was in command of Recon Corps, worse now. As a matter of fact, he never did anytime in the past.

I will, once again, be barricaded with many restrictions. It was unfair to me and to the others. All I asked from him is that I wouldn't have any special treatment at all, and apparently I wouldn't. But to him, restrictions were not special treatment.

"The 104th Cadet Corps Class entrance ceremony will begin now! You have the misfortune of having me, Keith Shadis, as your commandant!" I mentally scoffed. "I do not welcome you warmly! In your current state, you'd be nothing but food for titans! You're mere livestock! You're less than livestock!" I mouthed the words in my head when he spoke. And there it is. The wonderful, aspirational, and in my perspective, cliched famous line. I remember him telling my brother this many times, then to me.

"Over the next three years, we're going to train you worthless nothings and teach you to fight Titans! Three years from now, when you come face-to-face with the Titans, will you still be fodder for them?! Will you serve as the honorable barrier that protects the king?! Or will you be the glorious soldier for humanity that drives the Titan's out?! It's up to _you _to decide!"

I will give him huge credit though. If I hadn't already heard that speech a hundred times and I was a regular trainee, I would be aspired. He had a way with words, only now for me, I was already used to hearing them.

He began to approach cadets, the ordeal, asking them who they are and why they are here. I wouldn't be surprised if he came over to play with me a bit. He looked at me, coming my way.

"You! Who are you?!" Commandant Shadis stood in front of me. I stared him dead in the eyes. _I knew he would do this. _

"Lux Shadis, Sir! From the Stohess District of Wall Sina!" I said strongly. It was funny to refer to him as sir.

"That's a strange name...! Who the hell named you?!" He kept his strict forceful look on.

"You did, Sir!" I said, remaining my straight face. He gave a two second pause. I didn't even know why he asked that, he _did _gave me the name. Just about half of the cadets knew I was his daughter, and the rest were bound to find out. I guess everyone knew now. No one would have guessed it, I look nothing like him.

"I see..." he said. I pursed my lips. "Shadis! Why are you here?!"

"To join Scout Regiment and protect humanity beyond the walls, Sir!"

"Third Row! About face!" He turned me around. Before his hands left my head, he gave me a quick pat. I knew he didn't want me to join the Survey Corps, but after Kenneth decided to be Military Police and betrayed him, he switched his hopes to me, even if he didn't want to.

Keith Shadis may seem like he would raise his children to be under strict rule and well disciplined, but it wasn't like that at all, at least not with me. He was like that father who wouldn't let anything happen to his daughter, protective and overbearing, to the point where I would spend most of my life locked in the house with my mother. He would sometimes get heated up if I even went to the markets with her. I was barricaded, and even worse, I lived in the innermost wall. Maybe that's why I portray as being so cold-like and apathetic, I was always by myself in an area with limits and boundaries.

He made Jean fall to the ground, picked with Marco, and lifted Connie by the head when he saluted incorrectly, which I would see why not. How do you not know the salute? I tsked to myself.

He turned to the girl who was eating the potato, everyone turned their eyes to her. I did as well. She gave him half of the potato, which to my surprise he did not react harshly to. Just wait, he'll let her run till her legs are worn out.

…

I was called over to the commandant's office. I let myself in, seeing my dad fill out some paper.

"Ever heard of knocking?"

"No," I lounged myself onto the chairs he had there.

He looked up from his papers, "I may be your father, but I'm also your commandant. Here, you need to treat me like that as I will to you as a cadet." I rolled my eyes at him. _Sure, you'll treat me like the cadets. _

"That's during training hours only, when I'm with you, you're dad."

He rolled his eyes, "Fair enough."

"Well? Why am I here?" I played with my bangs, brushing them to the side as they always were. I looked at him, lifting my brow waiting for an answer.

"I have you listed to be in the cabins, unless you want your own personal room."

"I thought we said no special treatment?"

"Yes, but-"

"No, buts. I am supposed to be treated like another cadet. Remember...?"

"I know, but if you're not comfortable with being in a room with other people it's fine by me to put you in a room for yourself." I shook my head.

"No, Keith." I let out a breath in annoyance.

"Okay," He eyed me when I said Keith. "And also, you don't need to do the maneuvering exercise, I know you can do it well."

"Still, I think I should do it. Just for a reassurance, and you're not the only one who will be ranking me, so I think I should prove my skill."

"You're right."

"When am I not?"

…

I sat next to Annie, since I was sharing a bunk with her, and everyone seemed to crowd around Jaeger, who talked about when he saw the Colossal Titan and the Armored Titan. I ignored their talk, but things got heated when Jean interjected and laughed at Jaeger for wanting to join the Scout Regiment. I rolled my eyes.

The bell rang saying supper has ended, and I was already finished. I looked at Annie's plate who was finished as well.

"I could take that for you," I said with a regular tone, lifting her plate.

"Thanks," She said quietly.

We both stood up and began to leave. I stacked away the plates and caught up to her. We were about the same height, but my figure was skinnier at the waist. We made our way back to the cabins.

"You're the commandant's daughter?" She asked. I nodded. "Everyone was surprised to your reveal."

I shrugged, "The only thing is, I hope others wouldn't push to be my friend so they could get to my father's attention." I rolled my eyes as that has had happened before.

"People will."

I opened the door for Annie, seeing that the other girls were here as well, getting ready for the night, gossiping, or trying to sleep.

We went over to our bunk, Mikasa was there, but Sasha was still running. I guess Annie took the bottom bunk, so climbed up top with Mikasa.

Mikasa was cutting her hair. "It's not that long," I said.

"It's good to keep it short, it might get into the way of things." I nodded, pinning out my braid from the bun I put it in, then unraveling the soft, dirty blonde locks.

"Wouldn't you want to cut your hair too? A lot." she asked me. My hair went down to my waist, but I usually kept it in a braided bun. I shook my head.

I shrugged, not caring enough to talk about hair. "Never gave me trouble."

"Didn't you say you wanted to join Scout Regiment?" I nodded. "A titan is going to pull you by the hair, swing you around over its mouth."

I cracked a half-smile , "When that happens then, I'll remember you telling me that." She gave a small smile.

We changed for bed, then got tucked in.

...

I hung on the maneuvering exercise without difficulty. I learned how to balance when I was only 14, I even used the 3DMG twice. I didn't even have a problem then. Mikasa and others were great with it, only Jaeger was having troubles. He was completely upside down. I shook my head.

I got off, then let others practice too. Lot's of people were wobbling violently, some got the hang of it immediately.

The next day we tried again, Jaegar got the hang of it then fell once again. _It's broken, but he still could use it. Impressive. _I gave him some props for that.

My father caught on as well, and Eren did balanced himself out with ease. I stood next to Mikasa.

"He got it." I said. She gave me a hm.

We went on to actually trying the 3DMG, everyone soaring and speeding. I was on Eren's tail. I turned around to see that everyone was quite behind, and my father on his horse. He looked up at me and gave me a nod.

I turned back around. We all made it to the marked tree, telling up to make a drift and turn around. After we reached to the base on the session, I saw Eren panting, but Mikasa and I were fine.

"How are you two not even breaking a sweat?" I shrugged, I looked over at Mikasa. She did the same.

"How can you? It's not like we're doing major hard work."

"Easy for you to say, you've probably been doing this since you were born," We began taking off our gear, setting them back into their places.

"Something like that," I muttered.

"Lux, is it?" He asked me. I nodded. "How come you wanna join Scout Regiment?"

I turned around and walked towards the food hall, "Why should I tell you?"

"Hey! Where are you going? Commandant said to wait for everyone to get back!"

I waved him off. I heard footsteps follow me. Eren came up behind me, alone though. I guess Mikasa didn't want to risk getting in trouble. "He'll yell at you."

"Doesn't matter does it?"

"Actually it does, you have to wait to get food," I said. My tone of voice was emotionless, but with a hint of annoyance, which is accurate.

"Is that where we're going?" he perched.

"That's where _I'm _going."

"Why can't I come?" he asked, I turned around and shot a glare at him. He didn't react to it like how most people would, like have a sense of fear or shiver, but he definitely got the idea I wanted to be alone.

"Alright, alright. I'll talk to you later, then," he sighed then turned around back to where the others were beginning to line up. My father saw me, he furrowed his brows and shook his head, ignoring me. He let me go wherever, since his inner father-spoiling couldn't handle me not getting my way, if it was under his rule. I suddenly didn't feel hungry anymore, so I made my way to my dad's office. The door was locked. I rolled my eyes, taking out the pin in my hair. I bent down, sticking the pin into the lock. I slowly dug in it, and after a minute, I felt a click. Twisting it, I opened the door.

His office was plain, but he had some pictures up on his shelves along with books. I didn't get a chance to look around early, I might as well snoop. I looked at the frames. They were all drawings from my mother, she loved to draw, especially us.

One was of me, I was three maybe, I had on my mom's big purple hat and her jewelry. The hat fell to the side of my face since it was too big for my head. I looked up at her with my big curious blue eyes.

The next photo was of my brother and me when I was 4 and he was 13, we sat down on the floor, and he was reading me a book.

The next was of herself, she looked young, possibly my age. Beside it, my father was standing tall beside my brother is his trainee uniform. That was before he decided to let fear consume him. He looked so conceited in this picture, unlike my father who had that proud look.

I was what he wanted my brother to be. Dynamic, head-high, gallant, strong, and never any fears. He tried to raise my brother to be this way, but Ken came out to be an arrogant hypocrite, he talked big, then would be fearful.

"_Scout Regiment would kill to have me! I could take out not two Titans, but three Titans at a time!"_

You know what happened afterward? He graduated and then joined Military Police. He said he wouldn't dare to go near a Titan.

I don't know how he came out that way. He taught to never show any fear or weakness. I taught myself.

Kenneth was taught in advanced before, since my father relied on him to be the one in the family who would be the honor and the success. I mean, my father has already done that, but parents always want their kids to be more successful than they were. And maybe for them one kid was enough, because they didn't care for me being anything great.

Kenneth was taught to show no fear or weakness, yet he still does. By the time my father wanted to teach me and train me into being a soldier, I had already taught myself.

I never showed any weakness.

I never let anyone use me.

I never let myself burden anyone.

I never show any arrogance.

I never thought of myself greater or less than anyone.

I never showed any weakness. Even in my state, I never let anything wear me out.

I was mentally brawny, head-strong, determined with any cause. Nothing gets passed me. Although at times I'm stubborn.

My mother, on the other hand, was as fragile as a flower petal. She often got sick, to the point where she needed her personal doctor. She was strong fighting her own self, that was the only thing she could put up against.

Although my father was never abusive, he was controlling. I guess you could say Keith came out like my mother, but I don't know where the arrogance came from. My mother was wise and cautious, never pompous.

And as much as my father tried to constrain me, I would take my own way. He tried to make me the "baby", the frail one, the one who needed most care. I didn't need it though. I didn't need anyone protecting me. I was fully capable of becoming my own person.

He never got that idea. He always thought I still needed some sort of handling. This is why he still, after all that occurred with Kenneth, me showing him I was capable of being in the Survey Corps, still refuses to let me join the military.

But he wasn't supposed to show any weakness, and I told him when I was 14,_ "You are Commander Shadis of Scout Regiment. Show no mercy, show no fear. You are fearful of me, you're afraid that somehow I won't be as able as I can, and you cannot be thinking in such way. Don't let your father-like demeanor get in the way of you and me. Don't."_

Ever since then, he's backed off slightly. Only slightly. He let me go to Scout Regiment Head Quarters with him, like how he did with Kenneth when he was young. Only I started when I was 14, Kenneth began to go when he was 11. All I did was assist, but I had a close up at the things they did, have a reference. I would help out with training and assist the scout leaders.

I knew a lot of the soldiers there, even the ones who died. They were all brave.

Only one really caught my attention. He was the greatest one of them all. He intrigued me... and I hope I _never_ have to see him again. I dread the day we will cross paths once more. _Lance Corporal Levi._

…


	2. Restrain

_**I am trying to keep up the pacing in the storyline, but I am not letting time be a huge deal. **_

_Two years after joining the cadets. _

"Pick up the pace, you lead-footed laggards!"

We were running, it's raining. I kept my pace up, I held onto the baggage. I tried not to over do myself, I kept my breathing nice and steady. I was feeling my chest begin to tense, so I eased a little, I didn't need anything to start. I looked over at my father.

My father slowed his horse to yell and possibly provoke Armin. He was behind us all. I didn't look back. We were getting graded today, and any slip up could take away points. I wouldn't risk lowering my rank, even for Armin. He was weak, yes, but the kid was one hell of a genius. Smartest person I knew.

We continued to run, then afterward we went on the 3DMG. I trailed independently, slicing the fake napes of the fake Titans. I was glad to see my cuts were deep and not shallow. I thought I would need a better working on that.

I loved the feeling of the maneuvering devices, feeling lifted, weightless and free. When I felt like it, I would do spins, releasing, falling, then latching on the trees, pulling myself up again.

I passed my father, he looked up at me with his clip-board, then writing down some more stuff. I saw another fake Titan. I sped up, then sliced the nape in one swift move, the cut it fairly deep. I mentally patted myself on the back.

The progress I've made over the past two years was surprising even for my father. He told me I have gained a lot more endurance, quicker, and fleet. He, of course, told me to be careful with over exercise. I knew what he meant, but I didn't have time to worry.

We moved on to hand-to-hand combat. I was excellent at dodging, and my hits were fast. Kenneth and I fought constantly behind our parents back, so I knew how to hit and dodge. But we weren't getting ranked on this, so I saw no point in trying. I walked around looking at everyone.

Susanna came up and challenged me, she was a brown haired girl taller than me by four inches. I've seen her around but never talked to her, I didn't know her name till now.

Susanna was energetic and talked big a little too much. She told me she wouldn't go easy. I watched her moves for a moment while I was breaking away from them.

I noticed she stepped before she made a throw with her hands with the fake knife. As soon as she stepped out, I ducked under her right hook, latched my foot around her ankle knocking her feet from under her, grabbing her shoulders and pushing her down to the ground with a loud _thud. _I knelt beside her smirking, keeping my hands pushed down.

"Ow!" Susanna let out, closing her eyes in a brief pain and rubbed her head. When her eyes opened again, she smiled wide and watched me in awe, "Now, _that's my_ kind of woman." I stood up, holding out my hand for her, she grabbed it. "You're really good, how did you learn to make such swift moves."

"I have an older brother to fight with, I learned to get away from his hits, plus my father gave me some few tips."

"You're commandant's daughter! Lux, isn't it?" I nodded. "That's kind of cool you already have that military background, I can see why now you're so good."

I shrugged, "It's not only from my father, I had another better mentor." I mentally pinched myself for bringing up the other help. _He_ didn't need any mentioning.

"Oh, okay. So, how about you teach me some of those magic moves you make?" She asked.

I shook my head, "No."

Susanna gave me a huge pout, "Oh pleeease, Lux!"

I sighed and motioned her to stand in front of me. I took the wooden knife from her I taught her some basic tricks, I didn't want to give too much away, so I only showed her the ones I used on her.

"Watch which foot someone steps out on before they go for a stab," I began. "Try and dodge, if you can't do it in time, grab their wrist."

I held out my arm as if to punch her, swinging slowly. "So, grab my wrist," She did so, "Now, with all your arm muscle and shoulders, reject and push away from you, but don't let go."

She pushed my hand away, still clinging on. "Now, you can have full access to their feet, you want to trip them, then push them down, whether with their hand or grab onto an easy place you can put force upon."

She nodded all throughout my mini lesson, furrowing her brows in focus. "You got that?"

"Yeah, I think so. Watch the foot, dodge, if not grab wrist and reject, trip, push them down further."

"Try it on me," I said. Susanna became excited, hopping in place.

"Okay, okay, I got this, I got this!" She took a deep breath, and watched me. I stepped out on my right foot on purpose, swinging my left arm. She tried to dodge it, but I ended up hitting her.

"Ah!"

"You have to be faster than that," I let out a breath, "Try again."

She regained herself and watched me. I did the same thing, only this time she caught my hand and rejected the punch, but letting it go, pulling my feet from under me. I fell, landing on my back. "Yay! I did it!" She clapped.

She didn't push me down and keep me there, so I could easily get on my feet again and aim for her legs, which is what I did.

I rose and wrapped my arms around her legs, pulling them to the ground. I placed my hands on her shoulder, to keep her down, "Always remember to never look away from your opponent," I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, shit, yeah! I forgot to push and keep you down, haha," she giggled. I shook my head. I got up and dusted my clothes. "Well, Lux, you have defeated me. Looks like I was wrong, maybe _you _should have gone easy on _me._" I shrugged. "Well, I'll see you later, kay?"

"Okay." And to my surprise, she came up and hugged me. I was taken back. No one has done that. I placed my hand on her shoulder blade. "Thanks for the lesson," and with that, she left. I watched her briefly as she walked away. Something about her...

I looked over beside us, seeing Annie and Eren. Annie was excellent. I have rarely seen combat like hers. She took the dagger from Eren in without difficulty. Eren was on the ground. I watched it all until Annie walked away, I couldn't make out what they were saying, but it seemed to have an effect on Eren. I walked up behind her, "Annie," I called out.

She turned to face me, then looking straight ahead, "Lux." she simply greeted. We've grown to be acquainted over the years, she wasn't as bad as she portrays to be, I guess you could say the same about me. I turned around and Eren was watching us.

I walked around with her and we ended up moving away from the crowd. We were in sight, but no one was looking over at us, "Are you going to fight more?" She asked me.

I shook my head. "No one is much of a challenge."

"Did you see me fight?"

"Yes."

"And you are not going to challenge me?"

"You wouldn't accept, it's pointless."

"Come, let's do it right now," She stopped and faced me.

"Annie...?" I gave her a questioning look. She just gave me a reassuring nod. I held my hands out in front of me.

"Go." She said. I jabbed, and she moved away. I punched a right hook, and I almost got her, but she grabbed it and flew me over her shoulders. I quickly grabbed onto her arms and dragged her down with me, rolling on top and placing my forearm on her neck, pressing down to restrain her. "Good," She kicked me off, standing. I fell to my back, letting out one cough from the impact.

"You've had more practice than I have," I said, standing. "You're combat skills are beyond mine."

She shrugged. "You're still better than any other cadet."

I smirked, "Well, well... Is that a compliment I hear, Annie?" she rolled her eyes at me, but somewhere I can see a ghost smile behind her lips.

We departed, and I walked around on my own, I got tired of doing nothing. I passed by Mikasa. She looked over at me. I made my way to her. After sleeping near her every night for the past years, she became the only girl I could tolerate, aside from Annie. I found parallels of me within them, it;s hard to explain what, but it's there.

"Wanna give a go?" I asked her. She lunged at me before she answered. I quickly moved out of the way.

She came at me again, only this time with the dagger held out. I quickly grabbed her wrist and knocked the dagger out. She punched and I ducked, then I came up again and jabbed, only she grabbed my fists and pushed it away. We went on longer with throwing punches and kicks and dodging them for about ten minutes until my father passed by us.

"You two... if you keep going you'll be here all night and none of you will have a scratch!" He shook his head. We both stopped and looked up at him. He then pulled on my arm. He whispered, "I need to see you in my office after we've finished up here."

"For what?"

"I'll tell you when you get there."

I nodded, then turned back to Mikasa.

"Again?" she asked me. I held up my hands near my face that said yes. She did the same. I was about to start, but then Eren trotted towards us.

"Lux! Let's fight!" I put my hands down and raised my brow, looking over at him. Mikasa watched him as well, probably in confusion as I was.

"Why?" He stopped when he reached us.

"Cus I want to, come on," He had another fake dagger his hands. I sighed.

We conversed a few times in the past, mainly about the Survey Corps. I told him about when I was helping out there, and he had a million questions. He was pleased that I was joining. He tried to ask me why I was, but I never told him. I feel like till this day he's still curious about why.

"When you're ready, Jaegar."

He quickly came at me. I moved out of the way, moving opposite from him. He raged at me again. I ran towards him as well, jumping, grabbing the dagger, and with my other hand I placed it on his shoulder, pushing myself off, then landing on my feet. I pulled on his shirt back towards me, pointing the wood in his back. "Dead." I said. He turned around, looking into my ice eyes as I looked into his turquoise ones.

"How did... you're... how did you do that?" He managed to say.

Our faces were relatively close, merely a few inches apart, "Oh..." I said smoothly, a smirk placing on my lips, "I'm implausibly flexible..." As soon as I said that, the bell for lunch break rang. He watched me carefully, he let out a breath. I turned around, tossing the knife to the side.

_There she is... little ole cunning Lux Shadis. _My inner subconscious spoke. I'll admit it, sometimes I can be crafty, it's the only part of me I can't control. Thank God it's rare opportunities like this that I slip out.

I walked to my fathers office. He wasn't there yet, so as usual I let myself in. I went over to his desk and sat in his chair. I propped my feet up and stared up at the ceiling. I kept my breathing steady. Hearing the door unlock, I kept my position.

I heard my father walk in, then a gasp. "God dammit, Lux! Why the hell didn't you wait outside?"

"You know well that I'm not a patient girl, Commandant Shadis," I slowly lifted my head to see him. He shook his head.

He muttered, "Heaven knows how the hell you became in such way..." I rolled my eyes at his remark. "Move," he said, motioning his hands for me to leave his desk. I did so, putting down my legs and getting up.

"What did you need to tell me?" I asked. He went to his desk and sat, he went into the drawers and pulled out a folder, the top marked in bold '**Shadis, L.**'

"Well, in your records... you uhm... well... it's..." he struggled to find words. I raised my brow, this is unlike him. What is he hiding that's so hard to tell me?

"What about them?" I crossed my arms. He shook his head then just handed my my file.

"Just, read it yourself."

I eyed him, then opened the file.

**Name: **Lux Shadis

**Sex: **Female

**Birthday: **September 13

**Height: **155cm

**Weight: **46kg

**Place Of Birth: **Stohess District, Wall Sina

**Current affiliation: **104th cadets trainee squad

**Rank: **Not applicable for rank

**Battle Skill: **Not applicable for rank

**Initiative: **Not applicable for rank

**Strategy: **Not applicable for rank

**Teamwork: **Not applicable for rank

I furrowed my brows, then looked up at my father.

"Not applicable?" I asked.

"Yes, the other officers here might feel it wouldn't be acceptable if you were ranked, because of the post-training you've had with me, while you were at the Survey Corps head quarters, when I was in command," I narrowed my eyes.

I threw the record on the desk. "What the fuck?" I nearly shouted, I then took a deep breath, "I had some past acknowledgments and now I can't be ranked? That's not fair."

"Lux, please. I know this isn't fair to you, but in all senses, it does seem logical for you to not be ranked. After all, I am your father, so they might have thought I was giving you a good rank mainly because I wanted you to. Be thankful its just this, they might have had to disqualify you immediately."

I looked at the floor in aggravation, then looked back at him, "Did this apply to Kenneth?" I crossed my arms.

He sighed, "No, because when he was a cadet when I wasn't here training cadets."

I stomped my foot, "Of course! This is bullshit! Kenneth ranked number one in his class! And me? _Oh_, I'm not _fucking_ applicable." I was beyond irritated. This didn't make sense. So what if I have my father to train me? We don't look at the other cadets past and say, _'oh they've been training since they were 4, that's too much experience, they are inapplicable.'_

"You're still able to join Scouting Legion, just when Erwin looks at your record, he does get to see your real rank. Besides, he already knows how good you are."

I huffed.

"Just put this behind you, Lux. It's not a huge, big deal. You have to understand why I am forced to do this," I looked away. I didn't speak a word. He saw this coming. "Lux?" I kept quiet. "No, don't do that. No silent treatment," I just blinked slowly and waited for him to dismiss me. He sighed that sigh of defeat when he didn't know what else to do with me anymore, "Alright, silence it is. Go get some lunch, you can have the day off if you want." I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, exhaling then opening them, turning around and walking out.

_Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit._

…

"Give your hearts!"

"Yes, sir!" We saluted. Everyone was lined up at the assembly. We all watched the officers.

"You have three options after you graduate from the cadets today! The Garrison Regiment, which reinforces the walls and protects each city! The Scout Regiment, which risks life and limb, to venture into Titan territory outside the walls! And the Military Police Regiment, which serves under the king by policing the people and preserving order! Of course, the ones allowed to join the Military Police are the top ten cadets who were previously named."

I was annoyed at the fact I wasn't allowed to know my ranking, only the commanders would know for the corps I decided to join. What will happen when someone asks me why I wasn't in the top ten or what my rank is? My true answer will remain discrete. And my answer will be silence, because that's all I can say.

It's the irony behind all this, I was always remaining the cryptic one. My attitude, emotions, actions, disposition, all remains a mystery to other people. Most of everyone who I ever encountered said I was what happens after you die, nobody knows. Now those ten people lined up in front of me will even be more puzzled for why I am not up there replacing one of them. More things not to know in this world.

…

I woke up to the sound of the morning bell. I groaned, pulling my pillow over me.

Suddenly, my pillow was stolen and I was exposed. "Even after these years, you still aren't a morning person."

I glared up at Mikasa and stuck my tongue out on her, "We went to bed too late last night, give me a break."

She hit me with the pillow, "No breaks, we're heading to Trost today, so we need to get ready."

I threw the pillow back at her then finally sat up, stretching my arms, "You suck," I said.

We got down from the bed and started to get ready. Annie was already up, and Sasha, as usual was complaining that she was hungry and wanted to rush to get to breakfast.

After eating and getting our group assignments, we headed off to Trost. Getting there wasn't slow, but everyone decided to go see the main unit of Scout Regiment. I could feel my legs being turned into lead as I didn't want to go.

I stood next to Eren in the crowd, behind Mikasa. Everyone was cheering and shouting. I looked into the line up. Erwin was in front. His hair changed, it was more groomed. His face as well, more commander-like, not surprised.

"It's here! The main unit of the Scout Regiment!"

_Oh god. Please don't be here. Please don't be here, _my subconscious bit her nails.

"Commander Erwin! Give those Titans a real thrashing!"

_Don't you dare be here._

"Look! It's Captain Levi." The man in front of us pointed. My stomach dropped.

_Ugh, fuck... _I mentally groaned. I clenched my fist. Looking up, I saw him. There he was, after so many years, he was right in front of me. I glared from a distance, crossing my arms.

"They say he's as mighty as an entire brigade!"

I could see Levi mutter something. I rolled my eyes. He scanned the crowd with his eyes but not moving his head. He saw me, made direct contact. His eyes narrowed for a brief second, then looked away.

_Prick._

"This is nothing like five years ago, people actually feel hopeful about the Scout members!" Eren beamed up at them.

"Yeah, everyone has cheered up since then, nothing's happened in five years!"

"They've upgraded the mounted cannons, too. I doubt the Colossal Titan will show up anymore."

"Yeah!"

"Well, don't jinx it," I muttered low. Mikasa and Eren heard.

"That's a load of crap, you idiotic couple!" Eren shouted at them. The ginger and brown head blushed.

"Wh-what? _Us_? A married couple?"

"You're getting ahead of yourself, Eren!"

I rolled my eyes.

A tall middle-aged blonde man came up to us, Hannes I think. Eren and him talked, only Eren to walk away.

We made it to the walls and got to work on the cannons. I was working hard, but my breathing became slightly ragged, and my chest was beginning to tighten. I stopped, taking deep breaths. I decided to take a small break till my breathing felt right. I sat on the edge of the wall. I felt the wind slightly blow, only whipping my bangs and the strands of hair that fell out of my braid bun. I wanted to go further than this, explore the infinite lands I heard of.

As Eren was moving over to the canon next to mine, he saw me sitting down.

"You're done?" he asked me.

I shook my head no, looking out at the trees in front of me. He put down the metal staff sat down next to me.

"Can you tell me what you're doing sitting down then?" He questioned.

"Can _you_ tell _me _what _you're _doing sitting down?" I responded back. He shrugged then continued to look at me for the next minute.

He looked out in front of him, "What are thinking about, Lux?" he asked me quietly.

I turned towards him, a little puzzled, "Why do you ask?"

"Because you never say much. You're a closed book. Hell, you're a glued shut book. So tell me, what are you thinking?" he looked at me eagerly.

I shook my head, "I won't bore you with the idea." He still gave me an eager look. I let out a breath, then looked in front of me. "I want to go further, past these walls. Go see more than just whats in the walls."

"Is that why you want to join Scout Regiment?" He asked.

"Partially. But I remember reading this book when I was little about the world beyond the walls. Ever since then, I felt like I was so blockaded by these walls, not to mention I was living in the inner most wall."

He thought a moment to process my words, "You're kind of like me, I wanted to see the outside as well."

I looked over at him, "You do, too?" I asked with a little glee. I felt like I was the only one who wanted to see something else rather than the same old hills and trees and bricks.

He nodded with a smile, "Yeah, that was my first reason to join the Survey Corps... What's one thing you want to see most?"

"I think it's called... 'waterfalls?' It's like a stream of water falling off an edge of land, it must be so great." I realized how much I've lifted up, so I turned my face away to hide my excitement. I never showed any positive emotions towards anyone, at least Eren got what he wanted.

"I heard of those, I want to see the oceans," he gleamed.

"Yeah, me too," I turned back to him. He smiled at me. "One day... it will happen. One day we can control this world over again and finally have our outside."

He gave me a nod in assurance. "One day," he repeated.

We sat in silence for another minute, then I stood up. "We better get back to work." I said. Looking out at the sky once more, then turning back. "Eren." He stood and looked at me, "I've never told anyone that before, so don't mention it to anyone, okay?" He nodded quickly.

"Yeah, of course, Lux! I won't say a word!" He pretended to zip his mouth, then threw the zipper out of the wall. I rolled my eyes, turning away, giving out a little chuckle. I went over to the cannon I was previously working on then began to wipe it, Eren pumping the staff in the back of the same one.

Connie and him began to get into a conversation of joining the Scout Regiment.

"You're joining the Scouts?! Connie, you were so set on the Military Police!"

"Yeah, I was! -but..." Connie mumbled. I raised my brow.

_Watch, now everyone is going to join the Recon Corps. _

"Sounds like your speech yesterday won him over!"

"Huh?"

"Mind your own business! I decided it on my own!"

"Don't be so embarrassed, you're not the only one," Thomas spoke. _Wow, even he. _

"Thomas... you don't mean...?"

_Everyone is growing balls now. I'm quite impressed. _

"Uhm, everyone..." My head turned to Sasha. "I brought some meat from the officer's store house!"

"Why the hell...?" I spoke out, shaking my head. This girl could not go a day without stealing food. Everyone was scolding her, then they all joined in to eating some of her meat.

"Why are you just standing there, Eren? We'll get found out if we don't get back to work!"

"Lunch isn't for a while!"

"Stop slacking," I added.

Wiping hard again the wood of the cannon, I felt the wind pick up very much, swirling, and I could sense a tension. I stopped and looked out to the trees. I felt it in the pit of my stomach. My breathing came to a slow halt.

_Something isn't right. _


	3. Senses

I stood up, slightly furrowing my brows. Staring down at my quivering hands, they never shake... I looked over again at the outsides of the wall. The wind was picking up violently. The leaves blowing. I felt something terrible.

"Eren...!" I called out, maybe I'm just being delusional. But I could sense a... danger? I could feel my stomach twitch at the feeling.

Before I could even take another breath, a bright, yellow lightning bolt flashed. The thunder cracked and boomed our ears. And in the next second, my image was blocked by the top head of the Colossal.

There it was. The Colossal Titan. I took one step back. My mouthed slightly gaped open. I furrowed my brows deeper.

There it is. _Holy shit. I only imagined it being so large, but it was beyond that. Look at this big bitch. _

A massive blow of steam blew across, knocking everyone. I fell and rolled back, skidding off the wall. "Ugh!" I was falling down, the ledge of the wall getting smaller and smaller.

I clicked and released my lines, hooking me up to the bricks. I stood against the wall. My pin came out of my hair, and my braid was fully out. I looked around me and everyone but Samuel was lined, but Sasha went down to grab him. I saw the massive hole in the wall. Looking up, I could see the Colossal Titans fist clench the wall.

_That bastard. _

"Mounted Cannon Maintenance Squad 4! Prepare for battle!" Eren shouted. He pulled out his blades and lined over. "The target is the Colossal Titan dead ahead! This is our chance, don't let it get away!" He went up, his gas making a trail, landing on the ledge.

"Eren!" I grumbled to myself. _Idiot, how can you take down the Colossal Titan single handed? _

Slowly, the Colossal knocked off all of the cannons. The debris was falling our way. A pieces of sharp metal made my way, and as I moved, I felt one cut against my left cheek, right my arm, and my left leg, tearing through the clothes. The gash on my arm felt deeper. I clenched and bared my teeth, ignoring the pain.

_What the hell, Lux? You could have moved out of the way. _My inner subconscious decides now to scold me.

In the next minute, the steamed went down, and the Colossal was gone. I lined my way up to the ledge again. And it was gone, only leaving the embarks of his footprints and fist, and the pretty hole he made.

Thomas made it before me. "Eren! Did you beat it?!" He shouted at Eren.

"No! It's just like five years ago! He suddenly appeared, then disappeared!"

I came up behind him, staring over the ledge at Eren who hung against the wall. Connie came behind me.

"Of course you didn't, how could you?" I muttered. Eren came up, and took a breath before he spoke.

"I'm sorry, I let him get away." I crossed my bleeding arms at him. _Never pictured you as being so suicidal. _

"What are yo apologizing for? _We _were scared stiff-"

"Hey! This is no time for that! The wall's been broken! We have to hurry and seal it before the Titans get in again!"

"What are you doing?" A Garrison soldier came up. We all saluted to him, my right arm still bleeding slowly. "The Colossal Titan Response Operation is already underway! Return to Head Quaters at once! Anyone who's come into contact with it, remember to give a report!"

"Yes, sir!"

"We pray for the advance team's success!"

…

As we headed back, you can hear the Trost District roar with panic as everyone headed towards Rose.

Back at HQ, I gave my report, and was assigned to the rearguard, special orders. One of the Garrisons told me to go to the infirmary for my arm, and as much as I denied, I was still forced to go. I walked down the hall towards the big red plus sign. As I was on my way, Eren came up behind me. "Lux, are you alright?" He said, noting my arm.

"Just a scratch, I'm fine." I spoke with my usual indifference.

"Lux, that doesn't look like a scratch."

I shot a glare at him like I did once, "Get off my case, Jaegar," I growled.

"Why are you mad at _me?_" he furrowed his brows. He pulled on my good arm and dragged me to the side.

I shook my head, "You shouldn't have put a fight with the Colossal. It has intelligence. You couldn't have defeated it!"

"Hey, at least I tried! What did you do?!"

"Nothing! That's because that's all I could do! I can't risk for something that isn't going to happen."

"Lux, you're talking like everyone else! Of course you could have done something! So what if it's a risk, what would have happened if I actually defeated the Colossal, I had the chance," he said.

"Yes, you had a chance. But you _didn't _defeat it. There is no what ifs. You're lucky to be alive and that that _thing_ didn't kill you."

"Lux-"

"No," I stopped him, already knowing what he was going to say. "I know it was worth the try, but please, Eren, don't get yourself killed." He watched me carefully, "Don't."

He sighed, then spoke again, "Hey... Before, you called out my name..." I narrowed my eyes remembering the feeling I had. "What happened?"

I hesitated before I spoke, something I rarely do. "I felt something, before the Colossal attacked. It was in my stomach... like something bad was going to happen. I called out your name, I didn't know why, but I did. I thought, 'maybe it's just in my head,' but then it appeared, and I knew I was right."

"So... you knew something was coming, but didn't tell anyone?"

"Eren, it was all in a matter of seconds, I didn't have time. I called for you, didn't I?"

"Does this mean you're psychic or something?!" Eren got hyped, but in a way of shock. He looked at me funnily, like I had a huge roach on my face.

"No... I don't know... Whatever it was, it doesn't matter now." He tried to talk, saying this is important, but I cut him off, "Listen, we have to go. No time for talk of whatever I have or am."

He sighed in defeat, then patted my shoulder. "Okay, we'll _talk_ later," he said, watching me. I rolled my eyes. "Later. Okay?" I nodded slowly. "Promise?" He watched me eagerly, holding out his pinky.

I furrowed my brows in annoyance, the hooked my pinky with his, "Yes, yes. I promise. Now go, I'll see you."

"See you." Eren said, watching me carefully. He finally walked away, heading outside. As he walked away, the ping in my stomach began to form slowly, but I shook my head.

_It's nothing. He's fine. You're fine. _

I made my way to the infirmary. People were sitting with limbs missing, open wounds and blood everywhere.

I didn't have to wait long, a nurse called me over to her. "Shadis, I have been told to treat you immediately." _Immediately? Who told her that? I'm fine. _

Sitting me down on the leather beds, she asked me where the injury was, so I pulled off my jacket, only leaving my black tank top on, my necklace staying tucked behind. I showed her my arm and leg.

"Oh my, dear! You're cut is very large and wide, why didn't you come here urgently? If you didn't come at all you would have bleed to death! Crazy, crazy.." The nurse was scolding me, and I just kept quiet. I winced as she cleaned up the gash with alcohol and peroxide. She then had to put stitches, exactly 12. My leg only needed 6, and my cheek wasn't deep enough for stitches.

"Your arm and thigh would have a permanent scar, but your cheek should be alright with little to no scarring, though it would take a while."

I nodded. She wrapped my arm and leg with gauze, placed my jacket back on, then told me I could go.

I exited, seeing Mikasa walking with a Garrison who made me go to the nurse. "Mikasa!" I called out.

She turned her head towards me, seeing I had left the infirmary. The soldier in front looked at me, "Good, you've been treated, now you can follow us at rearguard."

I walked beside her, "You're hurt?" She asked me, looking at my cheek and arm.

I shrugged, "It's nothing bad, I just got a few stitches. Are you rearguard as well?" She nodded. I was relieved that we were in the same squad. We began to walk to the wall gates. The sky began to darken and grey. The walk was silent, the only noise was the stomping of our boots and the jingle of our 3DMG.

While we were on the roofs, I felt a ringing in my ears. I tried to shake it off but it wouldn't go away. It was similar to when my stomach had troubles. Mikasa stopped and turned around.

I continued to walk and noticed she was still standing. I turned and stopped as well, I watched her. The wind was blowing our hair, my braid hitting my back, her short black hair swaying lightly. She felt something, too.

"Mikasa...?" I spoke softly. She quickly turned around and looked at me. "What's the matter?"

She shook her head, then continued to walk, passing by me. I looked back at the district, furrowing my brows. The ringing went away. What did it mean? My stomach sensed danger, like the Colossal appearing and breaking wall again, leading in Titans. That was danger. But ringing in my ears? What did that mean?

_It means nothing. This is all in your head, it's just a coincidence. You probably ate something stale in the morning and made your stomach upset. The ringing is probably from a headache or the cannons. Do you know what they'd do to you here if they found out about your "senses?" They'd tie you and burn you at the stake, just like a bloody witch. Don't be an idiot, Lux. Now is not the time for you to have some E.S.P._

I shook my head and continued to walk.

…

My stomach was turning.

"There's a deviant," I said, staring at the running Titan.

"I've got it."

The elite Garrisons were chasing after the abnormal, but Mikasa took it out in one swift move. She landed on top of its head. I let go of the triggers and landed near its head, right below Mikasa.

I stared confused at the crowd of people. "What are they all doing here?" I whispered to myself.

"Oh! Perfect timing!" A fat man said, he was dressed all classy. I saw the big cargo wagon in the gate. "Get these guys to help me! I'll make it worth your while!" I furrowed my brows.

_Ugh, disgusting wealthy men. Move your fucking wagon, asshole. _

"My comrades are dying as we speak," I looked up at Mikasa. "They're fighting and dying because the citizens haven't finished evacuating."

"Of course they are! It's your duty to give your hearts to defend the lives and property of the people! Don't go gettin' a big head now that you freeloaders have somethin' to do after a century of uselessness!" I lifted my brows at his remark.

_I'll show you who's useless. _

Before I could step, Mikasa stepped down, making her way to him.

_She'll deal with him._

"If you feel people dying for other is a matter of course, then I'm sure you'd understand that a single, precious life can sometimes save the lives of many as well." Mikasa walked closer to the man. His two men stepped forward. I slowly stepped my way towards them as well.

"Just you try it! Your employer and I go way back! One word from me and he'll be all over your sorry ass!" The two men ran towards Mikasa, but she hit them both on the back of the head with her blades. One of them landed by my feet. I looked at Mikasa.

"How can a dead body talk?" I lifted my brow, smitten by her remark. She raised her blade and hit near his head, sticking it in the cargo behind him.

He told his men to pull the cart out. Everyone began to rush inside. I walked past Mikasa as she was being thanked by a little girl and her mom.

It began to rain. I felt the drops prickle on my face. "Shadis," I turned at my name. "Inspect the streets and houses in our radius, make sure they are evacuated. Take out any Titan you see." I nodded. He handed me a cloak.

I buttoned it on, placing the hood over my head. I jumped down, looking at Mikasa. I gave her a nod, and she gave me one back.

I latched on to buildings, checking the insides through the windows. The rain continued to pelt on my face. I hopped onto a building, looking over Trost. My stomach turned slightly. I tilted my head confused. Then I heard stomping from behind me. I turned, and saw a 7-meter making my way.

_There's no way-... how the hell can this happen?_

"Well, isn't it your lucky day?" I said, turning fully around. I was feeling a bit playful, despite my inner dilemma. I stepped towards it as well. It was approaching me slowly, "You get to be in the likes of me." I tilted my head.

It had a dazed look on its face, but I knew it could sense me. It's black hair was spiked in all different directions, it's eyes squinting so much I could barely see the color.

We both stopped until we faced each other. "Come on, don't be shy... I won't bite..." I smirked. It's hand suddenly lunged for me, but I latched onto its eyes, blinding him. I suddenly remembered grey eyes telling me what to do.

"_Blinding them is always good. Try to keep them blind, if they're blind they can't see where you are or what you're doing."_

I pulled myself onto him, standing on the bridge of his nose. I climbed to the top of his head, latching onto his nape, "...I only kill." I said, finishing my sentence. I bared my teeth, furrowing my brows. With a fast move, I twirled to the nape, striking it with all my force. The chunk slid off, and it's blood splattered everywhere. Only a few drops caught on across my nose. I landed back onto the building in front of me.

"_Twirling gives more speed and momentum, it builds up energy for the blow."_ His voice was echoing into my mind. I pinched myself for letting him snake into my thoughts.

I continued, walking down allies that would be dangerous if I were regularly living here. Four more titans came, all seen by the feeling in my stomach. I killed them all.

The retreating bell sounded. As I was about to go back, I found that I have gone farther than I was supposed to. I turned back, but my eyelid began to twitch. I looked ahead.

_It never does this. Why is my body doing things it never does before? I don't get stomach aches, my hands don't shake, my ears don't ring, my eyes don't twitch. _

Over the sounds of rain, I heard a faint cry. "Help! Help me, please!"

I looked around, trying to see where it came from.

"Hello?" I called out.

"Someone, please!" They begged. It sounded like a child. I went towards the voice. I was lead into a street corner, where I saw a small boy with auburn hair. He was sitting in the corner, knees tucked in. He looked up at me and began to cry. He got up and ran to me. "A soldier! Please, help me!" He clutched onto my legs. He looked four years old, maybe five. I bent down. He looked up at me with a frightened look.

"Where's your parents?" He sniffled.

"I don't know, when the bells rang, I lost them. Then I got lost. I don't know where I am. Help me," his voice was shaking. He was shivering, cold from the rain. I took off my cloak, bending down, wrapping it around him, buttoning. He looked at me, his eyes were filled with tears. They were a perfect green color, just like emeralds.

I lifted him. He continued to cry. He held onto my neck and sobbed, burying his head in the crook of my collar bone.

"I want you to listen to me," I said. I felt him nod, I shifted his body so I could see his face, I placed my palm on his cheek. "I'm taking you to the gates. When you get there, find your parents."

"What if I can't find them?" he sniffled, trying to relax his sobs.

I thought for a moment. For whatever reason, and reasoning hasn't been helpful, I felt this child needing my help. Maybe I should give him all the aid.

"If you can't find them, find a soldier. Any soldier. And you tell them Lux Shadis" I pointed to my self, "told you to find them. They'll take care of you until I get back."

"Okay, Lux." He said. He gave me a hug, sniffling. I got up, latching onto the buildings, soaring through the rain.

"Now, what's your name?" I asked him.

"E-Eli," He stuttered, he then looked up at me. "If I can't find mommy, will you take care of me?"

I looked down at his emerald green eyes, "Yes, I will."

_Wouldn't take you as one to like kids._

We made it to the gates. They were about to close, I placed Eli down and stroked his hair, kneeling down beside him.

"Go. I'll come back," he nodded, then gave me a hug. I stroked his cheek, then kissed his forehead. "Go."

He trotted off, going into the crowds. He turned around once more to take a last look of me, then headed off. I sighed, standing straight.

"Shadis! You're on time, you should move along inside, we have to evacuate," The Garrison who told me to do inspections came my way.

"Where's Ackerman?"

"She went off to Vanguards a while ago, but I advise not to go along," I furrowed my brows at him.

"Why not?"

"Well, there are still a lot of Titans, and by now everyone is already eaten, it's best if we can just get on over to the inside of Rose now and-" I stopped him.

"Run away, you mean? Like a coward?" I asked, lifting my brow.

"Shadis I know that your team is out there but-" I wagged my finger no at him.

"No, no." I perched, "I don't need to listen to you."

I went up to him, pulling out his gas and switching them with mine that were quarter filled, "Hey! What are you doing?!"

After I finished, I looked back up at him, "Oh? It's not like you'll be needing those, I mean, you might as well just walk on in and piss off," I rolled my eyes and turned around.

"Hey! You should show some respect to a soldier." I stopped my tracks.

"Here, sir." I faced him and saluted, "I give you my heart," I said with complete sarcasm. "You've already wasted my time, so if you excuse me..." He watched me with wide eyes.

I turned back around, latching onto the buildings, making my way to Vanguards. By now, Mikasa is already there with the others. She probably went and looked for Eren. They're probably alright.

As I was making my way, my stomach was ever-so-slightly turning, and I started to hear shrieking. I looked around, noticing a 15-meter. It had long black hair and familiar eyes. _Where have I seen those eyes?_ Its teeth was baring, no lips. I landed on a roof, watching it.

It began to go near another Titan. Are they communicating? No, I don't think so. I don't think they can even talk, let alone to each other.

_What is it doing?_

I widened my eyes. The Titan began to fight the other one. It was punching and grabbing, kicking and ripping. It was killing the other Titan. Even giving it a final blow.

_It can't be deviant. Could it have intelligence like the Colossal? But how?_

I looked around me, seeing that Mikasa, Armin, and Connie were near by. I went over to them as they were about to head off, but Armin stopped them.

"Wait!" He pulled away from Connie. They spotted me, and I landed near Connie.

"Lux," Connie said.

"What's going on?" I asked. I looked at Mikasa, something was different about her.

"Titans have surrounded HQ, there are too many for us," Connie said.

"I have an idea," Armin said. I looked at him. Ah, yes, the genius of us all.

"An idea?"

"You two will carry it out, so you decide," He referred to Connie and Mikasa. "I know this sounds crazy... but can't we use that Titan?" I was taken back by this, holding my breath.

"Use that Titan?"

"How so?" I asked.

"That one attacks other Titans. It shows no interest in us. We might be able to lead it to the supply depot. If it kills the other Titans, we might all be saved!" _Sounds reasonable. _

"You say "lead it", but how the heck to you plan on doing that?" Connie asked.

Armin turned looking at it, "It's probably fighting on instinct. You and Mikasa will have to kill the Titans around it, even better now with Lux. That'll make it search for new Titans to kill. It'll naturally be drawn to Headquarters."

"We can't risk our lives on a hunch!" Connie responded, shouting.

"But if it works," Armin turned around, "We might be able to kill all the Titans that are attacking Headquarters."

Connie stopped a moment, "I think it's worth a try," Mikasa spoke.

"I do, too," I said.

"What?! Are you serious?!"

"I'd rather take a chance than wait to die. I'm game for Armin's idea."

"It does seem bulletproof, I'm in as well," I looked over at Connie. Armin seemed excited with our response.

"Fighting with a Titan against Titans?!" I nodded.

"Yes, exactly."

Connie then looked at Armin, "We'd look pretty stupid if it doesn't work." _Glad to see you didn't wuss out. _

Armin smiled determinedly, "But if it does, we can save everyone."

"Are we all in?" Mikasa asked before running off. I ran beside her as well as Armin. Connie came behind.

We jumped, heading towards the Titan. I took the Titan near him on the left, easily slicing the nape off. I hooked onto one of them, twirling and slicing it off. Landing on top. One of them tried to grab me but I sliced it's fingers off and Mikasa took the nape of that one. We continued on until the Titans around were all killed. Connie got a few himself.

We could see the Titan go off towards Headquarters, so we went on as well. As we were soaring I looked over at Mikasa since I was at her side.

"Where were you?" she asked me.

"I did an inspection to see if people were still on the streets, I found a little boy and took him back, then I came looking for you," She nodded, still looking forward. "Where's Eren?" I asked.

She looked at me, her eyes were filled with sorrow, she closed them, facing forward, then opening her ebony eyes again, "He's dead." I could feel my heart drop to my toes. I looked forward and furrowed my brows.

I promised him we would talk later. I told him I would see him later. I told him not to fucking die!

_That's life, people come and go. He's just another soldier who went down with bravery. Don't let it sink, Lux. Not right now._

We got close to Headquarters, and the Titan punched two Titans to the ground. Mikasa broke through the window, Connie, Armin, and I following behind.

Jean was there, shocked by everything. The fact that a Titan is fighting and that we're alive. Connie was patting Armin for the good job.

"You're alive?"

"Your strategy worked! Listen everyone! That Titan is a unique variant that goes on Titan killing sprees!" He pointed towards the Titan through the holes in the wall. "What's more, it shows no interests in us! If we can use that one the right way, we can escape from here!"

"Use a Titan?"

"A Titan is our savior?" Jean asked in disbelief. "Only in your dreams..."

"It is no dream. Regardless of what it is, we need to keep that Titan fighting as long as possible. Face it, he's our best chance at survival."

…

We were hidden in the railings up above. There were exactly eight Titans. Everyone waited till the blows of the shotguns began. I kept my breathing steady. I was bent over like everyone else, keeping my hands on my blades in front of me.

I looked as the group leveled down. They waited patiently until the Titans were close.

_This will work. It has to, unless someone screws up. _

"Fire!" I heard Marco shout. The shots were fired and the Titans were gone blind.

I ran, jumping down from the railings. I lifted my blades and aimed towards my Titan. My blades cut through it's nape. I pushed my legs off it and landed down on the ground. The Titan fell backwards, beginning to steam. _Got it._ My eyelid began to twitch.

"Connie and Sasha need help!" I looked over at them.

"Help them! Now!"

Two Titans were still standing. I made my way over to them, Mikasa and Annie already taking them down.

We actually did it.

Everyone made their ways refilling their gas tanks. After, we all headed out. As we exited, Mikasa was on top of the roof and Armin when after her. I climbed up top with the others, standing near Annie. I watched as the Titan began to be eaten by others. Never thought Titans were cannibalistic.

"If we'd somehow unraveled the secret of that Titan, I thought we might find a way to break out of this hopeless situation," Mikasa said. I looked at her.

"I agree. If it's completely devoured, we'll never learn a thing! Let's drive away the Titans around it and keep it alive!" Reiner said.

"Are you crazy, Reiner?! We finally have our chance to get out of this hell!" Jean interjected. I tried not to roll my eyes at him.

"What if there's a possibility of that Titan becoming our ally? Wouldn't that be a more powerful powerful weapon than any cannon we have?" I looked at Annie. I tilted my head at her.

"Huh?! Did you say ally?! Are you serious?"

The Titan began to roar loudly, pushing away all of the other Titans attacking it and heading for the blonde one walking. It raged toward it, biting it's neck, lifting it up by the mouth. My mouth gaped open at the sight. His ribs were exposed, you could see them crack. He flipped the Titan in it's mouth, smashing it on the ground, then hitting the fat one approaching it, letting it be airborne into the building.

It gave one final roar, then collapsed to the ground.

_That Titan, it's not just an abnormal... no way in hell..._

Jean was talking, but no one paid attention to him. There was something on the back of the Titan's neck, right by the nape. I watched carefully. Someone, rather than something, began to lift from the neck, you could see the muscle being peeled off like a wrapper.

Eren finally came free of the muscle.

_Eren! _I gasped, covering my mouth with my hand.

Mikasa jumped and lined over to it.

"Mikasa!" Armin called her. She ran straight to Eren, instantly holding him. You could see her gripping him tightly, and her weeps became louder.

Everyone lined down, surrounding them. She then pulled Eren completely out, and we went to the balcony of a tower. I watched as she still held onto him. I was speechless.

Armin bent down and grabbed Eren's hand. He was muttering some things but I couldn't make it out.

Jean looked at us, then out into the streets. "You mean Eren... He did all this?" Everyone looked out, I even did. I watched the steam arise from the decaying Titans.

I turned and looked back at Eren, who's eyes were still closed.

_You're alive..._


	4. Indirections

We were sworn to secrecy.

No one talked about it, how could we anyhow? We are oblivious to what we see, we don't know what happened.

Eren is alive. He was supposed to die... I-I felt it...

"Lux!" I looked up at the sound of my name. Susanna was making her way towards me. I got up from the floor beside Reiner and went over to her. Before I took a step, Reiner grabbed my left elbow and pulled me back, pointing a finger to my face.

"Don't," He said with a stern seriousness. I looked back at Susanna, who waited for me with a worried look.

I pulled my arm back, "I'm not an idiot." I whispered back to him with a little harshness. As I walked, Connie, Ymir, and Historia began to talk to Jean. I made my way to Susanna, who snatched me into her arms.

"God, I thought you died! I know we barely know each other, but I feel we can be great friends and we can teach each other so much..." She began to babble on. I hugged her back slightly.

"Susanna, shut up." I spoke into her hair. She placed her arms around me tightened.

"What the hell happened to you?!" She whispered screamed to me.

"I can't tell you," She watched me in confusion, tilting her head.

"But... why?" she asked me. _Everyone was bound to know soon enough._

I shrugged, but I knew why. She sighed, and pulled me into another hug. "At least you're safe now," I nodded.

I don't know why she's showing me such caring affection, maybe she's like this with everyone. If she is, she probably shouldn't be joining the military. Emotions get in the way, especially in the Survey Corps. Passion, care, anxiety, fear... Fear is the worse. You could never back down and give in. I learned how to never fear anything at all, and doing so was the worst time of my life.

Yet Garrison's are frightened by Eren, I wouldn't understand why not, but they let fear consume rationality. Heaven knows what is happening to them right now. Eren is still passed out from the last time I saw him. Armin and Mikasa stayed by his side, and the rest were sent over. I sighed into Susanna's hug and she held me at arm's length.

"Oh, Luxie, you looked quite shaken," I glared at her. One she just called me Luxie, and no one has called me that since I was, what, 15...? And shaken? Me? Never.

"You're being delusional," I shook my head. She chuckled.

"By the way, a child was here for you," I looked at her intently._ Oh god, Eli. He didn't find his mother?_

"What?" my voice suddenly sounded panicked, but I maintained it and continued to talk, "When?"

"About half hour ago? I was on crowd control, then when I was about to come over here, he came up to me. He said 'Lux Shadis told me to find you,' I didn't know what to do, so I just sent him to the infirmary. He looked hungry too, really hungry. I fed him some food when we got there. I asked him if he wanted me to help find his parents, but he refused any offer I gave and said he just wanted Lux."

I felt myself breathe out a breath of relief. I was absentmindedly worried about him, hoping he would find his mother, but now he's in good hands. "I should go see him," She let me go.

"Did you save him or something? He reminded me of you in some way..." I nodded at her question. "I'll come with you." My hands began to shake slightly and my stomach turned in that way. I snapped my head up to the sky.

Before we could step, a loud BOOM zapped through the air. My head was facing towards the sound. The familiar yellow lightning strike cracked into the air following, I furrowed my brows at the sky. "What the hell was that?!" I heard Susanna shout behind me. I looked at the smoke appearing from above. Everyone began to panic slowly and we all stepped out to see the smoke from the inside of the wall. It was too much to be from the cannon, it must be Titan steam.

_Eren!_

Reiner shot out his latches and hooked onto a building lifting himself up to the roofs.

I began to follow, stepping out but Susanna hooked onto my arm, right where my stitches were.

"No, Lux! What about the boy?" She gave me sympathetic worrying eyes and I hissed at her grip. I yanked my arm back and shot her a deadly glare. I looked back at everyone as climbed up on top of the roofs. I followed behind.

…

After witnessing Garrison nearly killing Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, we all were gathered, soldiers and cadets.

Everyone around was either suicidal or planning to escape. I stood impassively. When everyone is panicked, there should always be one that's still. Once again his words echoed my mind.

"_Be indifferent to those panicking around you, this will show your preparation and readiness. You're collectivization will be louder than their fears." _

"What the hell, Lux?" I turned around to see Susanna scowling at me. I rolled my eyes and turned back to face the General. "Don't ignore me." She slowly came by my side and I faced her.

"What do you want?" I asked dreadfully. She glared at me but I remained my impassiveness.

"Why did you just leave? You were about to go see Eli, then you left. What the hell?!"

I sighed and turned my head back. I saw her shake her head on the corner of my eye. I have already spoken too much to her, I don't need to let her in. She kept looking eager for me to answer but I remained silent.

"ATTENTION!" I looked up at Pixis who was with Eren. I knew he couldn't see me, and I was glad, I didn't want him to see the relief I had from silently worrying of him as well.

"I will now explain the plan to reclaim Trost District! Our objective for the Plan's success is to seal the hole in the broken gate!

"As for how we will seal the hole, let me start by introducing this man: Eren Jaegar of the cadet corps!" Eren took a step and saluted.

Everyone sounded shocked. I slightly tilted my head at him.

_Thank God you're alive. _My inner subconscious whispered out of nowhere. Thank God? I mentally scoffed.

"He is the successful product of our top-secret experiments to create a human Titan! He is able to create a Titan body and control it at will.

"After transforming into a Titan, he will lift that huge boulder near the front gate and carry it to the destroyed gate to plug the hole. Your job will be to protect him from other Titans while he carries the boulder!"

Everyone, once again, let fear consume them. Daz was getting on my nerves. Even Susanna next to me was a little panicked.

"How are you not freaking out?" she asked me. I shrugged. Oh, Sue, if only you knew what I had to do to feel this way. I could feel her worrying of me. But I promised myself to never let anyone in... again.

Soldiers began to turn around and head out. I looked at Susanna who was tempting to leave. She turned and took a step but I snatched onto her wrist and dragged her back to my side.

"Lux... let go," she whispered.

"No. I turned around once and you let me go. _I'm_ not letting you go anywhere."

"What is this?" She snapped, "Some kind of mind game you play? I'm willing to become friends with you, and this is your answer? Contradiction?" I left her question hanging.

"On my authority! Anyone who leaves right now will be pardoned! A person who succumbed his fear of Titans can never face a Titan again! Those who have lived through the horror of the Titans should leave here now! As should those who want their parents, siblings, and loved ones to relive that horror! Leave here now!"

People halted, and turned around to come back. _A way with words as always. _

"Let's talk about four years ago! About Operation Reclaim Wall Maria!" _Did you mean indirect mass murder?_

"I don't think you need me to remind you of this, but... Calling it an "operation to reclaim" sounds well and good, but in essence, it was the government's way of cutting down the large numbers of unemployed people that it couldn't support!" _Artificial selection at it's finest. _

"What we never talk about... is that we drove those people outside the wall! That's why we were able to survive inside the narrow confines of these walls!" _When in doubt, sacrifice your civilians. How to survive 101, according to government officials. _

"I'm guilty! So is all of humankind! No rebellion surfaced only because a minority of people lived inside Wall Maria! But what about this time?! If Wall Rose is breached, reducing the population by 20% won't be enough! We cannot support even half the remaining humans inside Wall Sina. If humankind perishes, it won't be because Titans devoured us! We will perish because we annihilated one another! We must not perish inside another inner wall! I beseech you! Die here!"

More of his words lingered into my mind and I wish I could use his bleach to scrub them away.

"_It will always be about sacrifice in this world now, you only have to be smart to continue to keep yourself alive when you do." _

…

Pixis ordered me to go with the Elite Troops to protect Eren. I was glad I did, mainly for Eren and Mikasa, but also this meant people have seen my progress. Originally I was assigned to bait, but Pixis told I'd do no use there, he said to go with Squad Rico.

I have had encounters with Pixis in the past, maybe when I was 14, but there was something strange about him I saw, like he knew a little too much in a kind manner. I felt like he could read me easier than a sign for rum. I never liked people reading me.

I ran beside Rico. I have never associated much with Garrison's, I just know that they maintain walls and are usually drunk. Usually.

I kept my breathing in tact.

Eren ran in front of me and I wanted to speak to him badly but I couldn't, not right now. He said later, and I don't feel right now is later yet. He glanced behind himself to look at me, I nodded and he raised his brows up in down in acknowledgment.

Dietrich began to explain to Eren, "He called a top-secret human weapon. I don't care what you are as long as you plug that hole. Protecting you is our top priority. Don't let us down!"

"Yes, sir!"

I pushed aside my doubts and worries. For some reason I felt that maybe Eren couldn't seal the hole, Titan power or not. We weren't sure of his control, but maybe I was being thinking too much.

"Shadis," Rico called out low enough for me to hear, I turned my eyes to her, "I need you to stay rear but follow me, be my blindside." Rico looked back at me, and I gave her an assuring nod. She was rational, I could tell. I'll listen to her.

She ran up with Eren and told him something, but I couldn't hear, possibly something about people dying for him.

_He's got this, he knows what he has to do. We need to get off his case a little. _

My stomach hasn't turned near Eren. This meant no danger. Yet.

"This way!" Ian shouted and they all jumped down from the wall. Rico shot out the green flare. I stayed behind with her as told, then she jumped down into the roofs, I followed behind. She knelt onto the roof while I stood right on the point.

We stood and watched as Eren lined across towards the boulder like he was born to do so. His determination was in the air. Eren bit into his flesh and the lightning struck around him, and suddenly there was the Rogue titan, and my hands shook when he transformed. He roared like an animal gone wild with some strange parasite.

I repeatedly told myself, _This will work, this will work. _

Then my stomach turned.

Eren turned around and smacked the roof where Mikasa was. I furrowed my brows and my mouth gaped open.

_Mikasa! Eren!_

_He couldn't control it! _

My thoughts ran around as I watched in shock that Eren nearly killed Mikasa. He threw his hand at her again and Ian ran after her. I was tempted to go but I stayed behind Rico. She shot out the red flare, signaling the plan had failed.

_It failed...?_

Mikasa jumped onto the Titan's face, perhaps to try and communicate, I doubt he could understand her.

_The plan failed, Mikasa, come on... He can't understand you. _

Rico made her way towards them, and as we moved the Rogue scampered back and collapsed onto the boulder.

"He's nothing, but a stupid Titan like the rest of 'em!"

My stomach was turning once more, something was almost near.

"Squad Leader Ian! Two Titans approaching from the front! One 10-meter and one 6-meter! Another 12-meter coming from the rear!"

They were gonna pull back, leaving Eren, but no way in hell I would have left. Mikasa gave the most deathly glare, a small shiver even ran down my spine. Ian was thinking for a moment.

"Hey?! What's there to think about? Give us our orders! Ian! It's not your fault! It was a shaky plan from the start. We all knew that going in! It was worth trying, and we gave it a chance! All right? Our squads are climbing up the wall!" I watched him carefully, crossing my arms. _Coward, every inch of you. _

Mikasa began to rage towards Mitavi but Ian stopped her.

"Wait! Wait, calm down, Ackerman. Squad Rico, take out the 12-meter behind us. Squad Mitavi and my Squad will take the other two in front."

"What!" Shouted Rico.

"I was put in command here! Shut up and follow my orders! We can't Jaegar behind and unprotected." This took Rico back. "Change of plans! We're going to protect Jaegar from the Titans until we can bring him back! He represents a rare possibility for humankind. We mustn't abandon him. Unlike us, there is no one who can replace him."

"Several hundreds of soldiers died this time because of that failed human weapon. You're telling us to bring him back so we can do the same thing all over again?!"

"I am! We _have_ to keep on trying... no matter how many people die!"

Mitavi and Rico both stared at him utterly shocked. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Ian are you serious?!"

"Tell me how the hell do we defeat Titans?! Tell me, Rico. What other way do we have to change the situation? What other way can we preserve what makes us human and still win against the Titans' mind-boggling power?"

"How am _I_ supposed to know how to beat the Titans?"

"That's why this is the only thing we can do. We have to suck it up and do all we can to help that questionable human weapon. Pathetic isn't it? It's the only thing we humans can do. So? What are you going to do? This is what we bring to fight. It's how we fight back!" I looked and Ian, then closed my eyes taking a deep breath.

"I can't go along with that!" I opened my eyes and looked at Rico in silent disbelief.

"Rico!"

"But I'll follow you're plan. What you're saying is correct. We'll put up a fierce fight and show the Titans what humans are made of. 'Cuz I _refuse_ to die a dog's death. My squad will handle the 12-meter behind us."

I followed behind Rico and we were off. Her team gathered to fight off the 12-meter. I circled around it as others did, one man was grabbed and eaten. We finally took it down.

…

Rico, one of her Squad members, and I were the only ones remaining. I killed about 8 Titans but there were many left.

"Retreat to the boulder!" Rico demanded. We began to run across the roofs and lined down. I ran along side Rico.

I stopped my tracks on the roofs as Rico continued. I looked over as I heard stomping. _Thump! Thump! Thump! _Eren had the large boulder carried over his shoulder and was heading toward the gaping hole. I let out a breath in surprised encouragement. I began to run again next to Rico down on the ground, lining from roof to roof. And as we were reaching closer, more and more deaths were occurring. People I didn't know were dying.

My ears began to ring slowly.

Ian saved a soldier, and was killed. Beheaded. I looked away from the sight. We headed closer and closer, and there was one more Titan left in they way.

Mikasa was now in my sight and she went for the Titan, but Rico in front of me had already went above to attack it. She sliced threw one eye. Mikasa ran ahead and finished it off, peeling through the nape as if it were an orange slice.

Eren continued, his Titan roaring then smashing the boulder into the hole, plugging it firm. I ran my fingers through my bangs and chuckled in relief. _He did it. _

Rico had fell to her knees. I reached up to her, then slowed to a walk and followed up to Mikasa.

"The remaining Titans are coming! Let's get up the wall!" I looked up as two Titans approached us in their slow mindless stalk.

"I'll go as soon as I get Eren back!" Mikasa yelled back at Rico, looking at me and motioning her head to come along. She began to run up to Eren and I jogged behind her.

"Armin! How's Eren?"

Armin was tugging on the unconscious body of Eren.

"He's got an unbelievably high fever! We have to get him up the wall quickly, or..."

We both started closer to the boys, and Armin continued to tug, "Sections of his body are partially fused with the Titan! I can't pull him out!"

"We'll have to cut him out." Rico said.

"W-wait!" Eren was then cut out and both him and Armin fell back. The two Titans hovered over them and one began to reach.

"Eren! Armin!"

And as if my eyes deceived me, abruptly, he spun through the air and pierced the napes of both Titans, each pounding to the ground. Everyone stood shocked, but I furrowed my brows and bared my teeth, clenching them tightly as a familiar anger rose to my head from my feet.

_Oh... Of course you're fucking here, Levi! Of fucking course! _

He jumped down onto the Titan's neck and his back was to us, the freedom of wings on his back flaring. The sparks of fireflies lifting into the air, and the sunset glowing made him look beautifully God, and _God... did I hate it. _

He turned his face to look at us and his silver met my ice.

"Hey, you kids. What the hell happened here?"

…

I couldn't stop thinking about him. Even when I was picking up the corpses of fallen soldiers, writing their names and Corps, burning their bodies, being brooded by Susanna and Eli, Levi's silver eyes still lingered into my thoughts, even at night.

Eli was with Susanna, with the help of my father we managed to maintain him first-hand for the time being. My father, like Sue, told me Eli reminded him of me. I don't know why they think that. Maybe it was the curly hair... maybe his personality reflects mine somehow. Susanna was glad to watch him for me, and haven't spoken to Eren in what feels like ages, but has only been a few days.

But Eli wasn't my problem now, neither was Sue or Eren, or whatever my senses were. It was how can I possibly avoid Levi. The time to choose which Corps to join was close, and I obviously aimed for Scout Regiment, but I didn't want to see him. Ever. I hated even to worry about not seeing him.

_Shut up, Lux! Stop thinking about him. _

Today, I was supposed to be on facility cleaning, but I had another guy from my group take over my job, which wasn't hard to do. My injuries was a help, but everything else was my unavoidable cunning self. A few days ago I got a letter from Kenneth, saying he was attending a hearing, and he wanted to tell me the details in person. He told me to meet him outside of the courthouse in the morning.

I waited for him on the far side of the courthouse, as he said, dressed casually so no one would think I was in the military. He must know how much trouble I would get into for this. He better hurry, or I'm leaving in the next minu-

Someone grabbed me from behind and covered their hand over my mouth, pulling me into the wall of the courthouse. I stumbled back and furrowed my brows. I quickly arched my elbow and swung into their ribs. "Ow, fuck! Lux?! What the hell?!" I turned around to see my brother crouched onto his knees holding his side.

I crossed my arms and scowled at him, "Are you as mindless as the Titans or did you not think coming up behind me was a bad idea?" I let out a breath.

"No but I didn't think you'd try to crack my ribs!"

I rolled my eyes, "I didn't hit you _that_ hard."

He scoffed, "Oh, and like you can hit _so_ bloody hard. You could barely swing a fly, sis." As he stood, I took his insult as a challenge and swung my foot under his legs and made him fall to the ground hard. "Whoa!"

I placed my hands on my hips and tilted my head looking down at him. "Right, I barely swing a fly, I bring them _straight to the ground_."

Ken looked up at me puzzled, them chuckled, putting up his hands in surrender, "Okay, okay. You win, Luxie. You win."

He stood up then brushed off his clothes from the dirt, "We don't have much time now, I said I was having stomach problems, so they gave me five minutes." I nodded, looking up at him. I never understood how my brother stood 5'11 and I was merely 5'1. I blame my parents drastic height difference, my father being more or less 6' or 6'2 and my mother being a small 5'.

"What is this all about?" I asked. His brown eyes looked around and then he whispered to me.

"I'm guessing you were there at the battle of Trost..." He looked at me for assurance, and I nodded, "I'm glad you're fine... You must know Eren Jaegar, then, the human Titan shifter."

"He's in my cadet class, I'm actually friends with him," He looked at me disgustedly.

"Eren Jaegar is a monster and should be killed, Lux. You are to never be even acquainted with him again," Ken looked at me with serious eyes that are not to be played with, but I furrowed my brows and leaned back on my heels.

I shook my head, "Uhm, no?" I rolled my eyes. "Are you trying to tell me what to do? You know I would never take a command from you even if it meant death."

"Lux, listen to me. I read his full report, everyone is in the courthouse today because it's his trial, to see whether he lives or dies; which corps can take him in, us or bloody Recons," I narrowed my glare at him and wanted to stomp his feet, but I let him continue, "Military Police will get him, and when we do, you better believe we'll cut him open and kill him when we're done. This guy, Lux, is a danger to everyone."

"I spent the past three years with him. I trained with him, cleaned, ran, fought against, and ate meals with him. I battled and killed Titans right next to him while he did so, too. I watched him take a boulder and seal the hole in a gate himself. Eren Jaegar is not the enemy."

He rolled his eyes like how I do, "Lux, I don't care if you watched him grow up or fucked his brains out, he's still a threat to everyone, me, you, and the rest of humanity."

I paused, then spoke again, "I beg your pardon, but ever since when did you care about humanity?"

His was baffled by my question, as if he was anything but careless, "I have cared about humanity for as long as I can remember."

"Hm, that might not be so long... do you even remember what you had for breakfast?" I pursed my lips at him and raised my brows.

"Yes! Egg...! Or was it oats...?" I looked at him pleased that he proved my point, "Thi-this is no time for jokes, Lux! Look, I read his records, he almost killed a girl as a Titan, he swung right at her."

"I know, I was there."

"We-well, did you know when he was 9 he killed two men that kidnapped that same girl, and she killed too!" This was news to me, but it didn't affect me. He tried to search my face for a reaction but got none. By this point, nothing seemed to shock me terribly lately, other than the Colossal. And Eren being alive when I thought he was dead. And these senses I've been having. And Levi.

_For you, it all sums back to him. _I hushed my inner subconscious.

"Alright, I know. You're impassive. You're Lux. But Eren Jaegar is no doubt in the control of the Military Police, Scout Regiment in no way can take him away from us authorities."

I rolled my eyes at him and turned around, walking away. "Don't count on it," I muttered under my breath.

"Hey, don't walk away from me!" I waved him off. "Lux, I have something else to tell you!"

"What could that be?" I was about to turn at the corner, but I knew Ken was following me. I made my way to my father's horse I stole to get here.

"I'm getting married," I stopped my tracks, slowly turning on my heels. I watched him carefully, then in disgust.

"Who in the hell agreed to marry you?" I asked.

"Tara, you remember her right?" he slowly walked in front of me again. I nodded. Tara? Not a shock. "Well, she followed me to the Military Police, as you know. We worked together all the time and, well, you know..." he scratched the back of his head shyly. Never would I imagine my brother being shy.

I rose my brow. "Tara, huh?" He smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, the wedding will be in a few weeks, and we're sending out invitations, but I thought I'd tell you. It's very formal, so dresses and suits only. And you must bring a guest, the information is in the invitation. I'm inviting some soldiers from Scout Regiment, as well."

"Why are you inviting Scouts?" I asked. _I doubt they'd show, considering how you made a fool of father and yourself. _

"For dad, plus I actually know people I want to come. And Tara wanted me to invite them in respect for what they've done for everyone, " he said, with a hint of regret in his voice. I nodded and he took out envelope from his pants pocket and handed it to me.

"I have to go now, I'll talk to you later," Before he waked back, he pulled me into his arms and kissed my head. "I love you, Luxie."

I patted his back then he let go, turning around back to the court house. I sighed, looking at the envelope. The design in the front looked expensive. I wonder if dad knew about this.

_You are formally invited to join Kenneth Shadis and Tara Steinwood's marriage ceremony. _

_We are both delighted to have you join the evening with us and share our happiness, passion, and love. The ceremony will be held at the Great Rose Hall. 4 o'clock sharp._

_Dress formally._

_Must bring a guest, no solo invites will be allowed._

_On the separate slip, please list your name and your guest's name and send back at the returning address listed. _

_We hope to see you there._

_Name:_ Guest Name:__

Tara was a girl who used to live next to my family, she would come over lots of times to play, she was about the same age as Ken. When she was 16, her parents wanted to move, but she didn't want to leave Kenneth, so she joined the army with him so they didn't have to part. She was a lousy soldier at first, but ranked number 9. Tara was relieved Kenneth decided to join Military Police than Scout Regiment, since she was scared as well. She always adored me, but I was annoyed by her. Mainly because she laughed at nearly anything, and her laugh wasn't so much an angels song.

Yeah, I'm not going to their wedding. Maybe dad would understand why I don't want to. It would be too weird.

I rode along my horse, envelope still in hand, the hoodie of my green cloak over my head. As I reached the gate to go inside cadet headquarters, I smiled sweetly at the man in charge of the gates. He scurried to open them for me. I rode along inside, but eventually I was stopped by my father.

"Where in God's name have you been, Lux Shadis?!" He shouted in his commandant voice. I jumped down and looked at him impassively, "Why did you steal my horse?!"

"Kenneth told me to meet him, I had no other way to go. And I can't use my horse because he's in Scout Regiment. Also, it's not like you'd let me go see Kenneth without you."

"What?! What the hell did you need to go see your brother for!" I couldn't tell him Ken was telling me about Eren, that would get him in trouble.

"He wanted to give me an invitation..." My father watched me carefully, "To his wedding."

He ushered me to his office and I walked slowly behind, "Did you know about this?" I asked.

"Yes, of course. He told me not to tell, because he wanted to tell you in person, and he was waiting until mother felt better," he opened the door and let me in. He walked over to his desk and I sat on his chairs. From the look in my eyes, he knew I wasn't so up for it. "Are you going?" he asked me.

"Maybe," I said in a non-enthusiastic way.

"Lux, this is your brother's wedding. You have to go," he sighed in disapproval.

"Dad, come on. I don't have to be there... Who would go with me anyway?"

"Yes, you do. And you can find someone. Your mother would want you to go, Tara would want you to go, Ken would want you to go, and so you're going." I sighed. "Now get out of my office and do your work. If you want to be at Recon soon, then get a move on," I got up and crossed my arms.

"Dad..." I complained.

"Go, Lux!" he shouted. I pouted then left.

First Levi, then Eren, then Eli, now dad and Kenneth as well. More men to affect my life.

…

_**Alright, my lovelies. I know this is only the fourth chapter, but I really needed to speed up the attack on Trost and get Eren into Survey Corps and begin to get Lux into Survey Corps because I couldn't wait to start writing the juicy parts. Forgive me if this chapter was a drag, it is the longest one I have written so far, but please enjoy. Please please please review your thoughts on the story so far. I love reviews, all kinds of them.**_

_**I would also like to propose a contest for this story. I know this story is new and has not been popular enough, but for you few fellow readers that are loving my story, I will have a contest for a character. I'm doing this in hopes of getting more readers, but more for getting my readers involved with my story as well.  
**_

_**Love you all and thank you for reading. **_

_**Okee-dokee my being of the Earth, here are the information and rules for the contest.**_

_**I need a character to be friends with Lux in future chapters, and they will also be her date for the upcoming wedding. **_

_**He must be male. **_

_**Must be over the age of 20. **_

_**And he must ALREADY be a soldier of the Scout Regiment. **_

_**That is all I require. **_

_**In order to post your character information, you will simply write a review to THIS chapter and this chapter only. Posts on other chapters will be ignored. I will not accept any admissions on my PM, and I will not accept any repeated admissions, they will also be simply ignored. **_

_**I would like if admissions were to be done on a profile account so I can PM you if you have won the contest, but Guest or anonymous admissions are also accepted, just know that I cannot give you full and direct credit for your admission.**_

_**If you win, I will PM you and tell you so, and give you complete credit for your character. **_

_**For your admission, you will have to complete the following character chart. Please do not hold back on information, I want you to be as detailed as you can. **_

_**I have filled out the Sex and Military Corps for you so you know that it must be male and must be in the Scout Regiment.**_

_**By Family Relations, I mean his family history. Does he have a mother? Does he have a father Are they dead? Does he have siblings? Are they dead? Is he close with any other relative?**_

_**By Life History, I want you to explain his childhood from toddler to age ten and I want you to explain his teenage years..**_

_**Views on whoever is his feelings for them. Does he hate them? Does he like them? Does he love them? Does he want to kill them?**_

_**The rest should be self explanitory. If you have any questions, PM me, questions are the only PM's I will accept.**_

_**Good luck! **_

…

**Name:**

**Nicknames:**

**Sex: Male**

**Age:**

**Birthday (M/D):**

**Height:**

**Weight:**

**Body Built:**

**Eye color:**

**Hair color:**

**Home Wall: **

**Home District:**

**Military Corps: Scout Regiment**

**Life History:**

**Lives with:**

**Past Relationships:**

**Personality:**

**Likes:**

**Dislikes:**

**Religious Views:**

**Views on Eren:**

**Views on Levi:**

**Views on Titans:**

**Why he joined Scout Regiment:**

**How long has he been in the Scout Regiment:**

**Emotional control:**

**How he deals with rejection:**

**How he deals with anger:**

**How he meets Lux in Scout Regiment:**


	5. Empathy

I watched as the others in front of me began to shake their heads and turn around. I kept my face straight and indifferent, as it always was. Jean was beginning to waver, as did Connie and Sasha. I couldn't see the other's reactions, but I tried not to focus on them.

I kept my eyes on Commander Erwin, his same blue eyes from years before. He looked into the crowd, then connecting his eye contact with me. I quickly raised my brows up and down, pursing my lips slightly, and he did the same. He moved his eyes away from mine. He didn't have to worry about me being the one less soldier.

Annie turned around and left my side. I told her this morning when she walked away from me to join the Military Police, I wouldn't say goodbye...

"_You're still going to Scout Regiment?" she asked me, or at least I thought it was asked, it could have just been a statement._

"_You're still going to Military Police," I stated._

"_Yes."_

"_That is my answer as well."_

_She looked up from her plate and pursed her lips. "You'll be fine there. I couldn't picture you anywhere else." _

"_I would say the same, but your fighting skills say wrong."_

"_I'm joining Military Police because I'm saving myself."_

"_I'm saving myself, too." I watched her carefully as she played with her silver ring, twisting it around. I remember a few weeks ago, when she thought she'd lost it, and it was the most panicked I have ever seen her. I wonder why it is so important..._

"_Maybe so." _

_When we finished our plates, neither of us moved. "Annie," she looked at me, expression passionless as mine, "when you walk away from me tonight, I won't say goodbye, I won't merely look at you. I won't change your decision, and you won't change mine. Me standing with my head held high, and not a sweat breaking, is my farewell. That is how it will be. Consider this right now our final goodbye."_

"_There is never a final goodbye." _

_And with that, she got up and left. My head snapped up to watch her walk out, my brows furrowed. _

I'll miss her presence, I will admit, but I left Wall Sina for a reason.

After everyone who didn't want to join the Recon Corps left, the remaining soldiers stood, with their hands behind their backs, facing the commander.

"You people..." He began, "if someone told you to die, would you do it?"

Someone shouted, "We do not want to die!"

For a second, Commander closed his eyes, this looking back at us again. "I see...I like that look on your faces," he said in a low tone. Pausing, he spoke louder, "Then effective immediately...! I welcome all of you here as new members of the Scout Regiment! This is a real salute! Give your hearts!"

And like the many times I have done before, I saluted with my heart, standing strong and determined.

"Yes, Sir!" We all howled.

I heard Jean say, "This sucks, I'm in Scout Regiment of all things..." I mentally rolled my eyes.

Everyone began to complain to themselves. Sasha, Historia, lots of people shaking.

"You did well to control your fears. You are all brave soldiers. You have my heartfelt respect."

That was it. That was the moment I've been waiting for all my life. I thought I'd feel some kind of difference.

I feel the same.

…

I've been here a full day now and still no sign of him, maybe he's off somewhere else, or maybe he knows I don't want to see him, and that maybe he didn't want to see me either.

Today was just for settling in, getting all of the recruits in their dorms and sorting out squad's. Luckily, I was still in the new recruit squad with Ness, I had a feeling I might have been in a different area.

I heard a knock on my door, I looked up from my book, "It's Commander Erwin." He opened the door. He came into my room and shut the door behind him. "I wanted to speak with you, it's about the regulations I am required to give you, your father demanded I follow these when you have officially joined the Scout Regiment. This is out of respect for him."

I took a deep breath, "Of course," I mumbled. I looked into his eyes with slight annoyance. I didn't bother sitting up, Erwin wouldn't mind, since between us he wasn't Commander Smith, he was Erwin.

Erwin took my chair from the desk and placed it beside my bed, sitting down.

Knowing my father, I would have a million restrictions and guidelines. It was going to be exactly like how it was when he was in command here. Even when he isn't in command, he'll let Erwin do the work for him to keep me in check. Though, of course, I was never in check. But how could I have been? His rules were so unfair.

No going near any horses.

No going near 3DMG.

No going into the basement.

No going near Hange's titans.

No leaving the premises.

No letting anyone in your room.

No leaving your room until authorized.

Not to mention I never obeyed any of those. That was my little revenge for him.

"They're not that bad," He slightly teased at my annoyance. "First thing was that you were allowed to have a single room here. Although, you must be required to take all _mandatory_ activities, classes, and meetings as your fellow soldiers, regardless if you already know the lesson. And, you shall not have any special treatment or be easily excused from punishment, no matter of any special relations you have with the squad leaders. Unless anything listed is reasonable to us, you must follow."

"That's it?" I asked.

"That's it. Though for tomorrow it isn't obligatory for you to choose your horse considering you already have one."

"You still have Caesar?" Caesar was Levi's horse years ago, who liked me better than him, so he gave him up to me, but in secret. Everyone knew he was mine, everyone except my father. I was surprised by how many people kept secret a lot of things of me from him.

"Why would we not? We have everything you left behind," He made point to my old furniture, "Levi was the one taking care of him all his own." I tried not to show my scowl at his name. "Though, since you have already had more than enough experience with us, I will or Ness will dismiss you."

"How do you know which courses I need and don't?"

"We have records of you, your father when he was here had some of us do reports on you. You have a keen memory, so I won't bother enlisting you for things you already know." _I knew he was keeping track of me. No wonder I didn't get ranked._

"Despite of what my father says about mandatory activities and no special treatment?" I questioned. I mean, I do remember a lot of what was taught me here. But things could have changed.

"I'm not Keith Shadis, Lux. I'm in command, and knowing you, you're not some rookie."

"I thought this was out of respect for my father?" I asked, smirking.

"It is, but also under reasonable causes, I can alter, and you must follow," Erwin leaned back in the chair.

"Why the change?"

He shrugged, "You're an independent person now. You're stronger and smarter than the 14-year-old girl who, 6 years ago, was callow. You're nearly 20. Besides, it wasn't like you were going to follow the rules if I kept you locked in here, anyway."

I raised a brow, "How so?"

He half-smiled, "I saw you sneaking into your window one night 4 years ago, _after _midnight, might I add."

_Shit, I hope he doesn't know what I was doing. _I looked back into my book, pretending this had no effect on me, "I'm surprised you didn't rat me out."

"I did."

I rose a brow but still looking into my book, "To whom?" _My father definitely didn't know, or I would be chained inside Wall Sina like a dog. Who would he tell? The only person who has power (barely) over me is dad and-... no... why on Earth would he tell __**him**__ that for?_

"No one in particular," I peered up at him, meeting his right-now-I-am-not-commander-I-am-Erwin gaze, the all friendly and kind Smith. "Also, before I forget, I have given Hange permission to your assistance whenever is acceptable for her, since you have the experience with her work and experiments."

"Is there anything else?"

"Nothing else, other than..." he paused, possibly searching for words or thought, then spoke again, "You're being considered for Special Operations Squad."

I shot my eyes at him and bolted upright, "What?"

He rose a brow confusedly at my sudden panic, "Is there a problem...? I think you would be great in Levi's squad, they are actually one of the most elite squads."

_No way in hell am I going to join Levi._ "Who considered me to join?"

"Levi, of course." I held my breath for a second, "Am I missing something? What has you opposing to this position?"

I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, then exhaling slowly, "Nothing. I would just prefer still being on Squad Ness, that is all."

"If that is what you prefer, then by all means, stay," He stood up, meaning he was about to leave. "Listen, I have other work, so, all I wanted was to come by and tell you your position here." I nodded, looking up at him as he walked towards my door. He turned around and gave me a warm, small smile, "Glad to see you again, Shadis."

"Same to you, Smith." I lifted the corners of my mouth slightly, giving him a nod. He turned, but then a question sprung into my mind.

"Erwin," He turned back slightly, raising a brow, "Where is Eren being held?" I asked.

He shook his head, "That's classified."

I rose my brow and scoffed, "_Classified? _For me? When is anything classified for me?" He sighed.

"I can't tell you that Lux, suppose someone found out as well, and they tried to release him. I can't risk losing him, and I'm not even the one in control of him."

"Who's controlling him?"

"Levi."

_That doesn't surprise me._

"You can't even give me a hint?" I gave him a fake pout.

He ignored me and exited my room. I huffed and laid back down on my bed, and continued to read Odysseus for the sixth time. The room they gave me here was furnished with my old furniture from the previous HQ, the one I stayed at before I left three years ago. The book shelf and bed post was the same, the drawers and desk.

_Hm, if this is the same furniture... then maybe..._ I got up, setting my book down and went over to the book shelf. I stuck my hand under the second bottom shelf, trying to feel the small knob.

I wonder if I...

Once I feel the knob, I slid it with my finger, then feeling the key fall out. Huh, I do. I examined the key, feeling the inscription beneath my thumb, an inscription that marked _L._

And no, it wasn't L for Lux.

I wonder if the key still works. I doubt it, they must have changed the locks, it is a different place.

I tilted my head, playing with the key in my hand. I wanted to try it out.

Walking over to my door, I slowly peeked my head out, and saw that people were on their way to the canteen. I quickly shut my door and made my way down the hall, to the right where Levi's room was.

As I entered the hallway, I saw him and Oluo making their way down the hall away from me. They were probably going to get dinner. I waited till they were out of sight, then took the chance. I slowly crept towards his room door, twisting the knob. Good, it was locked. It was always locked, he never let anyone in there.

I took the key and stuck it in the lock, I twisted it, and hearing it unlock. I let out a breath. It works. I opened the door and let myself in, knowing I had a good ten minutes before Levi came back to eat in his room how he always does.

I took a candle from the desk near me and looked into the mid-dark room, since the sun has set already. The room felt the same, dully furnished, clinically clean. I went over to his bed, running my fingers along the sheets that smelled like him, lavender and vanilla, with washed out bleach. I made my way over to his desk in the middle of the room. Papers were neatly stacked, a quill with ink, mail, etc.

I looked through the papers on top, but they were nothing but expedition notes and plans.

I tried to open one of his drawers, but it was locked. I opened the wide one spreading under his desk. There was envelopes and stamps, more quills

I shook my head, putting the drawing back into the drawer, and continued my search. After I searched everything, I took out the pin from my bun and stuck it in the key hole, jiggling it around until I felt it click. I opened the drawer, and it was a set of files. His squad members, squad leaders, soldiers in the Recon Corps, then I saw **E. Jaegar. **

_Excellent. _I pinned my hair back in place.

I pulled the file out, opening it. I skimmed through it, since I didn't have time. **Eren Jaegar will currently be held in the basement for safety precautions. **

_In the basement? Isn't that an old dungeon? _I quickly put the file back, and as I was shutting the drawer back, something more caught my eye. On top of a file it read my name. **L. Shadis.** I pulled the file, and something fell out of it. I lifted the thick piece of paper, noticing it didn't have words on it, but a drawing. I held it up and placed the candle near it to get a better look.

It was a drawing of me when I was 16, I was sitting on his old bed, wearing his shirt, the _only_ thing I was wearing, and holding a big white rose. I was looking down at the rose, biting down on my thumb, laughing perhaps, relaxed. The shirt stopped two inches down my waist line, exposing my undergarment, the top three buttons were unbuttoned, my cleavage exposing. Hell, everything was exposed. My ash blonde hair was down, the curls spreading and falling to the side, just like he liked it. It was messy from the night before, and you could see in my eyes they were tired, but still crinkling from my content. I remember this day clearly.

I placed it back in the file, and I wanted to read what was in it, but I couldn't. I had no more time. I shut the drawer, leaving the room before I was caught. I placed the candle back, purposely leaving it on the coffee table instead of the small set of drawers, and purposely leaving the door slightly ajar and unlocked.

I knew where Eren was, and no doubt he'd be in the basement by now. Levi probably had him work all day cleaning then kept him locked in there as much as he can.

As I was walking down the flight of stairs, I just so happened to bump into the devil himself.

Levi was walking up as I was walking down, apple in one hand, and one hand in his pocket. He looked up at me, eyes hardening, and I slowly stopped three stairs above him as he did. What I wanted to do was smash that apple in his gorgeous fucking face, and another part of me wanted to kick him down the stairs as well. My subconscious wish he'd taken longer at the canteen, but I would have had to face him sooner or later. Now was the time, I suppose.

His grey eyes darkened, they regarded me with an intense gaze, and I tried to keep me from throwing myself at him. _Dear God. Please don't look at me like that, Levi. _

It was clear I was in his way to go up the stairs, but I don't think I'll move. He waited impatiently. He didn't like not getting his way. He'd have to beg me to move. A memory then sprung up into my mind, a conversation between him and I.

"I do believe this is the part where you beg me for dear mercy.._._" I quoted.

He rose his brows, "Not even precisely_._" He quoted in response.

His lips pursed slightly, and I crossed my arms. He did so as well. I tilted my head, and he did so as well. _Is he mocking me?_ I scowled, then he scowled playfully. _This prick!_ I narrowed my eyes at him and he did the same.

_Fine, you want to play? Let's play._

I unwrapped my arms and lifted my hands up to my bun, taking out my pin, my soft curls unraveling and falling around my face, the ends bouncing and stopping a few inches after my chest. 

Levi watched me carefully, I could see him stiffen, one finger tapping on his arm.

I pushed my hair to the side. I bit my lip, letting go slowly. His jaw clenched. I took my hand and bit the end of my thumb. I swore he was beginning to shift uncomfortably.

It was sort of hard to see his reaction in the dark, only one torch above us giving a subdued light.

I crossed my arms again and pursed my lips. Slowly, I began to be impatient.

_Why are you holding me back? Say something or get out of my way. _

After seconds, minutes, hours staring at each other, he finally broke the silence and spoke aloud.

"Lux," he simply said with his deep, velvet voice.

"Levi," I returned in the same tone. His eyes narrowed.

"That's Corporal Levi," he said bitterly between his perfectly aligned teeth.

"...Levi." I continued to say, playing the word in my mouth.

He tilted his head to the right, "Still vexed, I see." But I could see in his eyes a pinch of disappointment, and maybe longing.

"Oh, you think so?" I asked sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at him, knowing how much he hated it when I did that.

He sighed, "Lux, three years. It has been three years. Even more."

"Not long enough."

"You want even longer?" he asked, slightly astonished. He furrowed his brows.

"Yes, quite frankly I do. Because I can't think of anything more dreadful than being in the presence of you, Corporal Levi." I spat at him. He rose his brows, taking humor in my remark, slightly surprised.

"And I you, Lux."

I just scowled at him, I hated it when he took my seriousness as a joke, because I end laughing at myself. He continued to look amused, and I tried to hide my smile. He knows what he's doing to me.

"I hate you," I murmured grumpily, trying not to give away my smile.

He gave me a look, letting out a breath to show his sarcastic disbelief. "No you don't." He snorted conceitedly. I sighed, looking down at my hands.

"No... I don't."

"I already knew that," he began to step up, and I stepped down. One step away from us, he slowly stepped up again, expecting me to move. None of us bothered to get out of the way for the other. I could almost smell him.

"Great talk," I said, finally moving out of the way. He stepped up onto my step and I continued down. His footsteps stopped.

"You've changed quite a bit," he said after a second pause. I stopped, turning my head slightly, seeing him from the corner of my eye that he had turned half-way towards me. I stepped down again.

"Well, change is constant..."

After a few moments, I heard his feet climb up the stairs slowly, echoing the pace of mine. I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut, taking in a deep breath, clenching my fist, then letting go of the breath through my mouth.

I made my way down, finally finding the corridor to the basement. There was a guy beside the door, in uniform, wearing a 3DMG.

"No one is allowed to be down here," He spoke strongly. I tilted my head and went up to him slowly. He looked down at him, perhaps not getting by. I arched my back slightly and raised my head to see him straightly. I pursed my lips. "Can I help you?" He said annoyingly.

I reached up, tracing my finger tips along his collar and tugging the ends playfully, then looking up at him through my lashes. "Take a break, maybe an hour or so... Captain's orders."

"Uhm," he broke a little sweat, "I'm technically not allowed to go anywhere..."

I grabbed and pulled his shirt, forcing his face close to mine, "Would you like me to call the captain so he can come all the way down to waste time hauling your ass? Or would you rather spare him to do more important measures?"

He hesitated for a moment, licking his lips, then inched away from me when I let him go, then walked down the hall. He turned to look at me, blatantly allured. When he turned back, I faked gagged quietly and wiped my hands.

I watched to see when he was gone, then I picked at the lock and opened it. I twisted the knob, letting myself in.

"H-hello? Is someone there...? Captain...?" There were bars lined up and behind them Eren remained. I went over to the cage lock and unlocked it with my pin. "Lux?" Eren's eyes widened.

I pulled the lock down, releasing it from the latch and opening the cage, letting myself in. Eren was sitting on the bed, I think he was chained to cuffs. I went over to him.

"Is it later, now?" I asked.

"How did you get past the guard? How did you unlock yourself in here?" I placed my finger over my mouth to hush him. I saw his hands were locked in cuffs. I eyed them. "It's temporary, until they are assured I can control myself."

"I can't believe he has you caged down here like this. You're not some animal..." I murmured.

I motioned him to lift his hands, and then I proceeded to pick them, letting them fall on the bed. He rubbed each wrist and stretched them out, watching me confusedly. "Are we breaking out?"

I let out a snort, "No, stupid. We're not breaking out." I rolled my eyes. "Why would I have the need to run away? Where would we go anyhow?"

"Then... why are you taking them off?"

"Everyone deserves a break once in a while," He just nodded at me in agreement. I couldn't get over seeing him alive. "Aren't they kind of tight?" I saw the faint red marks on his wrist.

"Why are you down here?"

"You said we'd talk later, this is later."

He scooted over so I could sit on the bed with him. I crawled on top, sitting criss-cross as he shifted in the same position. I looked into his eyes, trying to process his being in front of me. Eren watched me with a rather surprised expression.

"You're..." he spoke slowly, "not... frightened by me?"

"Why would I be?" I tilted my head.

"Well, everyone else seems to be too confused to care, put high restrains on me, or have a little too much faith in me."

"Hm," I thought for a moment, "Maybe I have too much faith, but it's just that I'm not frightened by you. Confused, yes, but how can anyone not be?"

"You're just... taking a huge risk right now even being so close to me."

"Would you like me to leave then?" I shifted, attempting to get up.

"No!" I stayed back and watched him, "No... stay. What I mean is, I'm not even sure what I can control. I think I do, but I could be wrong."

"Do you have any intention of hurting me?" He widened his eyes and shook his head quickly, I shrugged, "Then I have no intention on leaving, but not without a fight," I smirked playfully and he chuckled. I pulled the cover sheets over myself to assure I wouldn't be leaving, "How are you?" I asked him.

He shrugged, "I'm fine."

"I'm glad to see you're here instead of on top of a lab table being cut open like a turkey."

"How did you know about the trial?" he asked me.

"My brother... He's military police, he was there as the hearing. He mailed me to meet him by the courthouse where it took place. He told me bullshit how they would win you over, but in the likings of this," I lifted the cuffs and dropped them on the bed, "You are here."

"Yeah, but I was almost not here," He sighed, "The trial was inexplicable."

"What happened?"

"First, they barred me down to a pole, everyone was watching me like I was some dog who attacked a child, worse," He continued to talk about the trail, I listened closely, about people arguing beyond the point, Levi's interjections, which made us both laugh, false accusations and about Recon vs. MP, "... and when I actually found bravery to tell my mind, Captain Levi beats the shit out of me, and so-"

"That bastard did what?" I stopped him. My brows furrowed and I clenched my fist on the sheets.

"Well, yeah... he kicked me like a toy ball. It hurt bad, he knocked one of my teeth out. But because of that I got to come here in Scouts."

"How come you look fine?"

"I regenerated my tooth and healed pretty quickly. One of the perks of my Titan-Shifting powers thing." I chuckled when he said thing. "Before any of this, I lost my leg, and an arm when I was swallowed by the Titan."

"Is that how this started?"

He nodded, "I don't remember much but yeah, I saved Armin and would have died to save him."

"I actually thought you were dead."

"So did everyone else. I almost thought so too."

"No, Eren..." I shook my head. He's the only one I've told about these stupid senses I have. "I felt it."

He stared at me, "Right, you're psychic."

"Please," I scoffed, rolling my eyes, "I hardly know what I am." I looked down at my knotted fingers.

After a moment of silence he asked, "What do you know?"

I looked up at him and rose a brow, "Of?"

"I mean, many things have happened since we last talked, no? Somethings must have been explained," I just shrugged.

"It's complicated to explain, but I get this stomach ache, and I think that means danger is near. My eye twitches when someone needs help near me... my ears ring when there is going to be a death, that's why I thought you were dead. I felt you dying. But I think it was only for people I know, because many people died all around me and I didn't hear the ringings for them, only a few times for people I knew. I couldn't do anything about them either."

Eren stared and regarded me intently, trying to comprehend what I was saying. "Do you know why certain things are for certain things?" He asked.

"No, maybe... no. It doesn't work all the times. I mean, you were supposed to die, and here you are now, well and alive. But I have no clue. I haven't really put any thought to it. My hands shake too, but I don't know why that is," He nodded and we fell silent. I took a deep breath, moving over beside Eren and laying down on my side, resting my head on my arm. Eren laid back flat and turned his head over to me. He placed his hands on his stomach and brought his knees up.

"I'm surprised you're not freaked out by me, or calling me a witch."

He chuckled, "Lux, I can turn into humanities mortal enemy, I'm more freaked out by myself than you." I half-smiled and looked at him.

"Yes, I do think you have won the freaky show by a long shot," we both chuckled for a good second, then fell silent again.

"I guess we have an understanding of each other then," he spoke.

"What do you mean?"

"We know what it's actually like to not be able to comprehend yourself and your body, which means me and you are on the same page. So, we understand each other in that stance."

After a second, I got what he meant, "I guess you could put it that way. We do share same views."

"We do, we both want to see our world beyond the wall."

"Emphasis on our, not theirs."

"Fuck no, not theirs." He let out a breath in slight anger. His fist were clenching hard, and I reached out, placing my hand on one of them. I felt the one ease slightly, then he relaxed them completely, carefully with the both hands, he held my hand and began to play with my fingers. My brows furrowed only slightly, and my lips were grim, I felt a light blush rise. He ignored my look.

I spoke out, "The only thing is, with exterminating them, you have a more devotion and determination than I do. I haven't been through what you have."

He shook his head slightly and scoffed a little, every action we did and word we said became soft and a low. "You don't have to go through what I have to be devoted to kill them, you know. You hate feeling trapped right?" I looked up from our hands to him and nodded, "Then, you have the right to hate them as much as I do." I looked back down at our hands. "Just because someone had it worse than you doesn't mean you can't feel the same."

I simply nodded and shrugged, "It just didn't seem fair to me, you know? You should have seen everyone in my neighborhood back at Stohess, they nearly put me in an asylum for wanting to join the military, and put me on death row for choosing Recon."

He furrowed his brows, "Why would they do that?"

"Because, I was a girl, living in the innermost wall, with family history of great hierarchy, a mother who was mostly ill, and a father in command. Why on earth would I ever need to be in the military? Suicide? No longer having hope for life? They didn't understand that being pampered and dolled everyday was suffocating me, and if I _was_ suicidal I would be staying right there. I felt like I was the only one who actually felt trapped."

He stared at me, not with sympathy, but with empathy. That was the only thing we could promise each other. "That must have been difficult for you."

"It was," I yawned. It was getting late and I should probably get back before anyone notices I'm gone and the guard comes in... I looked up at Eren with sleepy eyes, "Thanks."

"For?"

"Your empathy."

"Not a problem," He looked to the side at me, "Thank you for your empathy, as well."

"Not a problem," I mocked, and he rose his lips to a smile. "You know, you're probably the only friend I've ever had."

He rose his brows surprisingly, "What? Really?" I nodded, "Not any other soldier?" I thought about it, and shook my head, "What about Susanna? Annie, Historia, Mikasa, Sasha?"

"Eren, I didn't tell Susanna, Annie, Historia, Mikasa, Sasha, nor anyone else I can feel when someone is going to die or when there is danger. You're the only one who knows my deepest darkest secret."

He smiled slightly, and yawned. "It's getting late..." he blinked slowly, looking down at me. He let go of my hands and they fell on his chest. I didn't budge to move them away. He shifted onto his side, stretching his arms, and my hands sliding down, now leaning against his chest. He bent his elbow bringing it around, resting his head on his arm. His other arm in between us.

We watched each other for a moment until my eyes felt heavy, and I suddenly felt how tired I was.

…

_I was awoken by the door shutting, I bolted awake, my eyes snapping open, realizing it was only him. When did he leave the room? He was wearing a black dress pants and white button down he probably threw on last minute. I looked around the room for a second, it was all the same. A light was cracking from through the window. The only beam of light I could get rather than a dim glow of the light seeping from the curtains._

_His expression, as usual, was stoic and impassive. He stood by the door, watching me with those eyes I loved, darkening as they do. I sat up, pulling the sheets over my almost naked body. He slowly stalked towards me, hands still behind his back. I looked up at him with my sleepy eyes. I bit my lip. _

"_Do you even know how ravishing you look right now?" he growled darkly, like a wolf and I was a poor lamb. I blushed and shook my head. "Fuck, I can't even explain myself," he said. It was hard to process his words, considering his expression was still the same and it continued to intimidate me. I wasn't sure if he was serious or sarcastic. Nearly with everything he says I can hardly tell what he means because he remains expressionless. _

_He knelt down slowly by me, moving in closer to me. We were still gazing at each other. One hand of his grabbed my face suddenly, squishing my cheeks, lifting my face up and pulling to him. His lips crushing mine, tongue not even asking for permission to enter but doing so anyway. I groaned underneath, returning the favor. His mouth was grazing over mine hungrily- passionately- hungrily, and dominating me in every way. I quickly wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His groans and moaning echoing mine every so often. His lips never gave up for a breath of air. _

_His kisses steadily became soft, his hand was now tangling in my hair. He gave me one final peck, then placed his forehead upon mine. I realized we were both panting for air._

"_Wh-where did you go?"_

_After his breathing calmed, he presented behind him a big white rose. I let out a giggle and took it in my hands, "For me?" I asked in a high-pitched voice._

"_No, it's for the other girl in my bed, Lux," He rolled his eyes, but then lifted his lips and kissed my forehead. I scowled and pecked his lips. When has he ever given me a flower? Or anything in that matter. So unlike him. _

"_Fuck you."_

"_Go ahead." _

_I pushed his shoulder as his lips turned into a deceiving smile, "Not what I meant, weirdo" I chuckled, and placed the rose on the side. He got up off his knees and hovered over me, placing two hands on the bed on either side of me, careful not to touch._

"_I have to fill out some reports, I'll be an hour or so," He said in his authoritative voice and I nodded. He pecked my nose and went over to his desk, sitting, and beginning to file and write on paper. _

_I took a deep breath and wrapped the sheets around me again and swung my feet over the bed, standing up. I picked up my clothes that were scattered around, but they were all dirty. I walked over to the drawers, pulling out a white button down shirt. I dropped the sheets and put on the shirt, slowly buttoning each button. I purposely left the top three buttons unbuttoned. _

_As I turned around, I didn't realize he was watching me. I blushed and rolled my eyes, "Never enough?" He simply shook his head. "I thought you were doing paperwork?" I lifted my brows and pursed my lips._

"_I can't, you're distracting me."_

"_Hm... so now this is my fault? Maybe you should learn to control your male hormones rather than putting a blame on me."_

"_Oh... but they're raging... how can I?" His eyes flared, casually scanning my body. I clenched my jaw and crossed my arms. He leaned back in his and motioned his finger for me to 'come here.'_

_I walked over to the desk, around, and to him. He pushed the chair out slightly, grabbing my hips and pulling me on top of him. I giggled as he did so, placing one leg on both sides so I was straddling him, and burying my head in the crook of his neck. "It's barely been five minutes, and you're already procrastinating." I slid my hands from his shoulders to his chest. _

"_There's always a later..." he cooed into my ear. I felt one hand move from my waist, tangling in my hair at the nape. He pulled so my head went back and I was looking at him. I bit my lip. _

"_Right, you can have me later."_

"_I meant later for the papers."_

"_Later for me, get back to work!" I scolded. I gave him a small kiss and climbed off him. He wouldn't let go. "Come on, if you don't finish this now, we'll be both depriving from fun, so do this on behalf of me." _

_His silver-grey eyes trailed all over my face, then he let go of my waist and hair. I kissed his cheek and let him be. _

_For the next 30 minutes, I dusted around, made the bed, swept the very little dirt I tried to find in corners, and picked the laundry. I knew if I kept clean he would be greatly satisfied. After I had finished, I sat down on the bed and picked up the rose. I examined it, noticing how beautifully layered and bloomed each petal was. _

_I gnawed on my thumb, smiling like an idiot at the flower. I wonder why he decided to give me a rose this morning. What was the significance of that?_

_Once again, I hadn't realized he was looking over at me, stealing glances up each time. Only this time it didn't seem like he was writing but drawing something down. I was about to ask what he was doing, until he stopped me, "Don't move."_

_I stayed absolutely still, obeying his order. After a few moments passed, he finally stopped. He got up from his desk and went over to me, sitting down, and pulling me onto his lap._

"_May I see this masterpiece?" he held out the drawing. It was me on his bed in the position of smiling like an idiot and biting my thumb. "Very well done, Corporal." I looked up at him as he looked down at me, emphasis on corporal. _

_He scoffed, "Not corporal yet, I still have plenty more to go." I rolled my eyes at him. I grabbed his face and pulled it slightly, placing our foreheads together. Our noses brushing against each other._

"_You're the greatest I've seen. Hell, I even bet you'll be the greatest one of them all. The greatest soldier on the face of Earth," Closing my eyes, as he wrapped his arms securely and tightly around me, I whispered softly, "Even when you're not able, you'll always be my savior, Lance Corporal Levi."_

_He watched me curiously, lifting his hand and brushing his thumb on my bottom lip._

"_And you'll always be my weakness, Luxie-Girl."_

…

I woke up with a deep frown; I rubbed my eyes. _What the fuck? Did I dream of him...? _

I looked around the room, noticing it wasn't my room. I was caged and locked, _Where the hell am I?_

I remembered as I looked up next to me, seeing a sleeping Eren beside me, who had one arm draping over my waist; he probably did that in his sleep. _When did we fall asleep?_

I looked around, noticing a small window above, showing darkness. I must have dozed off. I got up, kicking the sheets off. I walked over to Eren, grabbing his shackles and locking him in. He jolted awake, grabbing my wrist as he was done. "What are you doing?"

"I have to go, and I couldn't leave with you loose. Some would have noticed how you managed to get out of them."

"But-"

"What if they thought you transformed and broke them off? Or knew you were capable of escaping? They would do even worse than this to restrain you. Don't start complaining. I have to get back."

He looked slightly pained, but that could have just been from the sleepiness. But he just nodded. He reached for my shoulders, pulling me towards him into a restrained hug. As he let me go, I turned and left the cell, locking the cage, and locking the door behind me as well.

When I turned, someone was waiting for me in the darkness. "I know it was you who went into my room." He voice was soft and calm in the darkness. He leaned on the wall beside the door, I could only see the shadow of his form.

"Is that so?" I challenged.

His head turned towards me, and I could see his face lighten more from the torches on the wall. Ice meeting silver.

"I may have to punish you for trespassing into a superiors private quarters." He spoke so nonchalantly, it was hard to concentrate.

"Well, it wasn't so private when I could have just waltzed right in," I fished in my pocket, pulling out his room key. His eyes widened slightly, then they relaxed back into their impassive gaze.

"You still have the key."

"You still have the drawing."

He narrowed his eyes at me, "I knew you went through my stuff, after all that mess you made. You know how I hate it when people come into my room without my consent."

I rolled my eyes, "Right you are, Corporal."

He pushed himself off the wall and marched towards me, and a little bit of panic arose from me because I knew when he was this quiet and this calm, it only meant he was really pissed. I moved, backing away from him, only to be blocked of a way out when my back hit the wall and he trapped me like a mouse, putting each hand on the wall beside my head. He stepped in close, our bodies merely millimeters apart, our noses touching hardly at the tip.

His eyes were still cold, but intent, "How should I give you you're punishment... hm...?" He spoke in his low voice, "Maybe I'll have you clean up after the horses, or kitchen duty for a week..." he tilted his head slightly. "Or... I could just bring you back into my room and enslave you to clean it till no single fiber of dust is left in every corner and inch."

I gulped, watching him, my eyes widening by how close we were right now without touching. "Better yet, I'll take you across my knee and spank the living fuck out of you..." My lips parted, taking in a sharp breath. "You'd like that wouldn't you, Lux?" I ground my teeth, trying to fight away the urge he was giving. I quivered uncomfortably underneath him and his gaze.

"F-Fuck you, Levi." I managed to choke out, my voice squeaking and cracking.

"Go right ahead, baby."

I found the courage to lift my arms up and push him away from me, but his body was too heavy and strong. I managed to push a few inches and I slipped away. "Why do you do this to me?" I asked in a small, agonizing voice, my back facing him. After a moment of silence, he spoke out.

"In six hours, you're supposed to be choosing a horse, but you already have one, so you won't need to attend. Instead, you'll be on custodial duty. You're going to clean the bathrooms on floors 1-3, mop and sweep the halls, then you're going to clean out Oasis till it is spotless. If you fail to do so... well... you know what'll happen." I turned and my mouth twisted. I felt like the 15-year-old girl he met years ago, callow and fragile like a bunny-rabbit. He watched me with dominating eyes. I felt like crying, but the only thing in that manner was my bottom lip pouting and quivering like me.

"Go to your room and stay there until 9, and then at 9 I want to see your ass scrubbing floors. Understand?"

"Don't I get to at least eat first?"

"Hm? Me and you don't eat breakfast? You can eat after you're finished. Now go."

We watched each other for a moment, just gazing into each other's eyes. Mine of course, were pained, and his, of course, were impassive. I turned around, clenching my fist, and walking away from him. "God, I wish that I'd hate you."

…

_**Sorry it took so long to write, since this is so far the longest chapter I've written, it's taking up about 16 and a quarter pages on my document, but I know you can't really tell on the site. I was also in Cancun and Belize, where I didn't have internet, but now I'm in my cousins house where she had WiFi and I don't think I have ever felt so deprived in my life.**_

_**I have chosen the winner for the character contest, since it ended over a week ago, though I was hoping for more admissions, I was glad with the ones I got and chose from them. The best was from TheBloodDemon'sCreed, who PMed me the admission since hers did not follow up on the review. So, in conclusion, thank you all who participated!**_

_**Review and make me happy. Also follow and favorite. Love you!**_


	6. Vulnerable

_I took a deep breath as I finished my book for the fourth time, closing it and setting it down. I got up from my desk and went over to my bed, flopping down on the cushion, gazing up at the ceiling. I tapped my finger against the sheets. I let out another breath. _

_"__I'm so bored… I'm so bored, I'm so bored, I'm so bored!" I shouted, punched the sheets and crossed my arms. _

_Why the hell does dad have to keep me trapped here? This is unfair. Kenneth was even helping with expedition plans, I get to read books I don't care for or have already read. This is not what I wanted to do, be trapped again. As if the walls weren't enough._

_No, fuck this, I need to get out. I hopped off my bed, going straight to the door. The door was locked from the outside. I furrowed my brows. I jiggled it around. _

_"__Ugh!" I shrieked in frustration. I didn't even know this door could be locked. He must have added one on the outside. He's my father, but God what an asshole move. Why does he have to tie me up like a dog like this? It's not like I was out whoring around or putting my life on the line._

_I looked around the room spotting my eye on the window. I went over to my window, unhooking the latches and opening it. I climbed on the ledge, peering my head outside. I looked around, and it seemed my room was facing the back of the building, people rarely came behind here. I could probably jump down..._

_I looked back up at my window. Not too high up, I should get a rope to pull myself up again for next time, or find a latter in the hopes of that._

_I turned, letting out a sigh of relief. My father will be back in before the canteen is open, I have enough time. I glanced around me. I needed a disguise, or at least blend in, people will notice me if I'm not._

_I couldn't go in front, people will notice me. I opened the door to the back, it lead to a small hallway. It was dark, no windows. The light torches were the only way of seeing, it was very dim. The rooms were mostly for storage, custodial appliances, and mechanisms. The signs were as read, though a few blank ones. _

_I read each sign. I checked every storage room to see if there was a scout uniforms, but I found not even one. Crap. I'm going to get caught if I cant disguise myself. I continued to search, but then after a while I forgot what I was searching for. I was just walking now, and even though I didn't care for any disguise by this point, I still feel like my feet are continuing to lead me to a destine place. I had this feeling you got when you were on a search._

_"__...No, no! That is totally wrong! Recount the numbers, you're way off..." I snapped my head up to the sound of my fathers voice. I began to see him come around from a corridor and head my way with a group of soldiers. _

_Shit! I went up ahead to a door, thanking Zeus it was open. Shutting the door quietly, hoping he didn't hear or see me come in, I placed my ear on the door to hear. I heard their foot steps pass by and echo away from me. I sighed in relief, turning around, realizing I was not alone in this room. _

_A dark figure stood before me, and like the halls the lighting in here wasn't so great. The windows were shut. But his cold, grey eyes shone through the darkness, they glared at me passively. Whoa. I didn't hear him in. _

_From the looks of it, I had sneaked my way into a athletic facility, there were weights and work out machines, barbells and heavy bags lined from the ceiling. That feeling of search had vanished, and it was the relief of find that flowed through me. Odd. I have never felt this. _

_The man looked like he was working out on the heavy bag, it was still swinging back and forth, I could hear his faint breaths through our silence. His knuckles looked swollen, the skin was peeled and bleeding a bit, he wasn't using any kind of glove or protection for his knuckles. I looked over him, he was wearing a plain white muscle shirt and grey sweatpants. _

_It looked like he was looking over at me as well. Nothing much to give away, I was only wearing tights with a long white button down, and a blue cardigan. His pupils scanned all over me, judging over the intruder. _

_For some reason, I couldn't get over the way he looked. He was really freaking attractive, and no one has ever caught my attention like this, and the lighting in this room wasn't even good, but it didn't matter. Holy shit, he was handsome. _

_But my exotic train of thought about his looks was lost when he stepped over to me, he stalked so easily and carefully. It was no doubt he was a soldier, why else would he be here, with the exception of me. I think I have seen him around..._

_He continued to watch me like a coldhearted, masochistic predator, I felt he was going to lung at me and rip my head off, or tear me up. He was intimidating, yes, but I couldn't help but look at him curiously. I tilted my head to the side slightly. _

_He stopped a foot away from me. Holy Hell, he's so handsome. He's a Greek God. I couldn't believe my own thoughts, I never thought anyone was merely appealing to me, even mother was scared I would never marry._

_He was a bit taller than I, I would imagine he was 5'2 or 5'3, which was short for a man, but it seemed like no matter how tall or short he was, his being alone made you feel shorter than him, as if you were a toddler. _

_His lips parted as he spoke, his voice alone took my breath, so velvet and deep._

_"__I do believe this is the part where you beg me for dear mercy."_

_I was taken aback by this. Beg him for mercy? Does he know who I am?_

_"__Not even precisely." I responded. His brows rose in surprise by my response._

_"__Oh no?" he crossed his arms. I shook my head. "I know who you are."_

_I scoffed, "No you don't"_

_"__You're commander's daughter."_

_"__You know who my father is, that's not knowing me."_

_"__Well, I do know you're not supposed to be even out of your room. I heard you were locked in because you left headquarters without permission and had half the soldiers looking for you." _

_I rolled my eyes, which made his glare on me tighten. "Yes, well. I am well aware of what I did. You don't need to tell me."_

_"__And they still couldn't even find you. They checked every inch of land on a 100-mile radius and still couldn't find you. You had to return back on your own. What did you do, bury yourself underground?" I let out a small laugh at his sarcasm._

_"__No, my father's troops were that incapable of finding me, because they didn't know where to go."_

_"__Hmph," he rolled his eyes then turned to walk away, but only took a few paces, "Now, what should I do with you...?" He asked himself, turning back around and went to his previous position. "I might as well just hand you over to your father."_

_I widened my eyes, "No!" I burst out, but I quickly collected myself, I don't want to beg for mercy... "I wouldn't go either way. And if I did, I would sneak out again."_

_"__What if there was no way out?"_

_"__Oh, I'll always find a way."_

_He took his chin in his hand, and stroked it, pursing his lips. "Like the little, spoiled brat you are."_

_Brat?! He did not just call me a-_

_I lifted my hand and swung it at him, smacking his arm. "Do not called me spoiled, nor a brat."_

_He wasn't moved by my hit, he just watched me as he said bluntly, "Ow." He watched me even more intently. "You have a good swing... but if you punched and not slapped it would have left an even bigger impact, and more damage."_

_I was confused by what he said, thinking about how I should respond. Was that a lecture on my fighting? "I have an older brother, he always picked me around, I learned how fight back."_

_"__You could use some training..." I furrowed my brows at. What does he mean?_

_"__Was that an insult or an offer?"_

_"__Insult you? I've already done that. An offer? Why would I ever do that?"_

_I crossed my arms, "I don't know, why would you?" he let out a breath and turned around, shaking his head, blatantly annoyed. Hell, I was the one who was annoyed, too. _

_"__Thus far you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience. Go back in your room and play with your dolls." He waved me off._

_I stomped my foot, "No."_

_"__Then go wherever you please, just don't let it be here."_

_He went over to his heavy bag and begin punching again. He was good, I wonder what he was doing down here in the first place. Exercising, yes. But he looked well in shape, why continue more? Why wouldn't he wait for me to leave, too? Unless he wanted to show off…_

_I walked around the room, making my way to the window, unhooking the latch and peeking it open. Nothing but trees. "I'll be on my way then…" I hopped onto the window frame and I was going to jump out, but two hands pulled on my shoulder. _

_"__What the hell are you doing?!"_

_I turned my head confused, "Jumping out…"_

_"__Looked more like a suicide, and I don't want to explain to Commander Shadis why I was alone in a room with his 15-year-old daughter, a room where limited people know about, and why she had suddenly "fell" or jumped out of this window."_

_"__So, I did just jump out though…"_

_"__It could look like I pushed you or you tried to escape. Even if you survived this fall, you would surely be sent back home, since that is what you're afraid of."_

_I was a little taken back by how right he was, and I usually think my things through. I could have easily been caught just by coming here in the first place._

_"__When I said get lost, I thought you at least knew a way out, or could have figured one out not recklessly."_

_I closed the windows back, and then turned to see him. "You're right. I'm sorry."_

_He help up his finger, "Apologize without saying I'm sorry, saying sorry is a sign of weakness."_

_I tilted my head, "Right." More tips? He's acting like a teacher rather than some random soldier._

_"__Now, do you know a way out?" I shook my head. He rolled his eyes and shook his head, "I'm not here to babysit, kid, you owe me one for showing you out." I nodded. _

_He took me by the wrist, leading me out the door, making sure no one was around. We took a path through different hallways. The whole time, we never spoke. He just held onto my hand, making sure no one could see us. He was good at hiding us away. We were then right beside the main staircase that would lead me around to where my room window would be close to reach._

_"__Alright, go." I rolled my eyes at him and turned. _

_I began to go up the stairs, after a few steps, I looked back, turning around to see him look up at me as well. His expression was no longer stoic and mean, it softened. As if in real-life slow motion, coming from the window above me, a cloud moved away from the sun, and exposed its light through, and my shadow wrapped around this man, the light around him only shaded him more into the shadows of me. _

_This man, I had no idea of his name or status, where he came from or who the hell he was, but this man, had suddenly impacted me like no being on whatever was left in humanity could ever do. _

_I turned back around and continued up the stairs, making my way to my room. As soon as I closed my windows, my father unlocked my room doors, "Luxie, it's time for dinner." I managed to hop into bed and pretend I was waking from a nap. "Have you been sleeping all day?"_

_I ignored him, getting up from the bed and making my way to the canteen. He followed behind, and as I was walking in, I saw the same man in line with a girl, I think her name was Petra. I've seen her around Ken many times. That was odd, I occasionally see her but never him beside her…_

_The rest of the night, I couldn't sleep. And when I did drift off into sleep, I could only dream of those silver eyes. _

_I couldn't place my finger on it, but he intrigued me to the maximum. What was it about him that had me on this edge?_

_He was so rude, and he was unpleasant. He insulted me, then seemed to pursue some sort of instruction with me. He was as cryptic as any mystery story I have read, or any myth and conspiracy. No, he was even more mysterious than that. _

_I have to find out who this person is. _

_The next morning, my father walked in and told me my schedule, which was same from the past two weeks, which was to go to breakfast, even though I never ate, stay in my room, then have lunch brought to me, then stay in my room, then go to dinner. _

_After my lunch was delivered, I didn't even eat, I immediately left my room, knowing that if I had left right after lunch, I would have two extra hours with this guy, so I could probably get a lot out of him in three hours. _

_I made my way out, going through those hallways he showed me, then making my way into the room. He wasn't in here yet, maybe he was eating. I sat on one of the benches, waiting patiently. _

_After a few minutes, the door knob turned and he came in. As he looked up, he halted when he saw me sitting there. He rose a brow at me. "I never expected you to be a stalker."_

_"__You wish someone like me would stalk you." I rolled my eyes._

_"__There is no one else like you," he said. For a minute it didn't sound like an insult at all. I tilted my head questioning, then he just walked in and muttered, "Thank God…. Why are you here?"_

_"__I have nothing else better to do. I'm stuck in my room all day, and this seems to be a little escape, so to speak."_

_"__I might just tell commander you're out of your designated area…"_

_"__You won't."_

_"__Oh, and what makes you think that?"_

_"__Because you won't. I can tell. If you did, then I would be completely shocked and vow to never trust my gut again."_

_"__Hmph," He walked over to the heavy bag, putting on his knuckle tape then he began to punch. _

_"__How come yesterday you weren't wearing any protection on your hands?" I asked, trying to make conversation._

_He simply shrugged, grunting after every punch he makes. "Somedays I do, somedays I don't."_

_"__Don't they hurt you?"_

_"__You get used to it, right now it's just numb. But yeah, sometimes it does sting a lot."_

_I continued to watch him go at the bag, seeing him switch from his fists to his feet. He was good, but in a sense of him hiding something else deep inside, I could feel some sort of vulnerability from him. _

_"__You seem vulnerable to me."_

_He stopped his movements, slowly turning his head to me, eyes fixed and glaring. "Vulnerable?"_

_"__It's obvious by the way you let me stay here in what seems to be a private time in your day, you've exposed yourself to me, I see that as vulnerability."_

_"__Hmm..." He walked over to me. When he wouldn't stop where I thought he would made me slightly panicked because he continued to get closer to me. He placed one hand on either side of me, leaning on the bench and had his face fairly close to mine. _

_I have never been so close to anyone like this before. It was new. He spoke to me in a low voice, almost a whisper. It was both nerve-wrecking and alluring. "See, that is why I think it is the complete opposite of vulnerability. I am off duty, which means I no longer abide to the morals of being a soldier. I am doing what I enjoy, so I am determined to keep going, and determination is dangerous. You're wrong, my expulsion is not at all vulnerable, it is what I can use to dominate any surrounding." I gulped._

_"__However you," he continued, "are vulnerable. Stubborn, but vulnerable. You are lost, frightened that you may be caught. And your disposition now is very anxious. Perhaps of me."_

_I couldn't respond. I just continued to look in his eyes, scowling. "I get your point." _

_"__Do you?"_

_"__Yes, now please get out of my face. You're being very rude and arrogant."_

_He let out a small breath and backed off, "Oh, so now you're insulting me? The pot is scolding the skillet."_

_"__I am not a rude and arrogant bastard as you!"_

_"__The fact that you just said that proves you are." I groaned in frustration. I stood up and smacked his arm again, but he caught my hand this time. This touch scared me, because I felt a lighting bolt run through me when he held onto my wrist."No, like I told you, punch not slap." He pulled my arm and lead me over to the bag. "Look, like this." _

_He grabbed both my arms and positioned them up, bending them close to my face. I looked at him funnily, why is he doing this? "Now, when you punch, keep your fists loose, don't squeeze the whole time, it'll tire your hands out. Swing the same way you do, but when you reach the target, that's when you clench your fist. Now try." I bit my lip, looking at the punching bag and swung my arm, punching it. "Good, but you could do better. Did that hurt your knuckles." _

_"__A bit, now it stings." He nodded, turning his head, going over to a chest and taking something out. When he returned, he held up fist guards. He held my hands and placed them on, adjusting the straps. _

_"__These will help." I nodded looking down at them. He continued to teach me how to punch; jabbing, uppercut. I had completely forgotten that this man next to me, teaching me, was a complete stranger, and I didn't even know his name. _

_"__Also, another trick, when you jab or upper-cut, you could probably do hook as well, twist your wrist when you hit, this will tear skin."_

_Eventually I became tired, and I asked for a break. I sat down on the floor against the wall. He started to punch the heavy bag, really going at it. I watched his movements, I could learn something by just watching him. I could, if I wasn't so distracted. When he stopped, I snapped my eyes away from his fists and to his face. _

_"__Why are you staring?"_

_"__Will you train me?" I asked, I ignored his question. He watched me puzzled._

_"__Train you?"_

_"__Don't mock me, I am serious. You already know by now that I want to be a soldier, why else do you think I would sneak out of my room? Obviously I can't be a soldier in there." _

_He thought for a moment. "Well, it would depend on which Corps you plan on joining."_

_"__Survey Corps, of course."_

_"__Of course," I was glad he said that, because most people would have called me crazy for wanting to be here, "In all honesty, I couldn't imagine you being elsewhere."_

_"__So... Does this mean you'll do it?" I asked hopefully._

_He pursed his lips. "Actually no. Unless you beg me to." _

_"__What?" I dropped my jaw._

_"__You heard me, brat. Beg me, give me your mercy, or no deal."_

_I stood there in shock, still wondering if he was joking, but nothing this man said was a joke. "No?"_

_"__Fine," he took my arm and pulled me along to the door, "Then let's pay a nice visit to good ol' commander."_

_"__Wait wait!" If he takes me to my father, I'll be sent home for sure. I sighed in defeat as he stopped and turned towards me. I yanked my arm back and dropped to my knees in front of him. His eyes widened for a second, possibly thinking of some perversion, but I ignored his response and folded my hands in front of me._

_I looked up at him with puppy eyes and pouted my lips, "Please Mister Rude-and-Arrogant-Bastard, it would do me such a great honor to be your apprentice, please- oh please, please, please, train me. I beg of you, I am at your mercy."_

_He tried to keep a straight face and hide his amusement, because I knew he was getting a kick out of this. "Well, if you insist."_

_The little girl in me came out as I smiled wide and squealed. I swiftly went up on my feet and mentally shook away my glee. Finally, I was able to achieve what I have always wanted. _

_"__I don't think we have ever exchanged our names." _

_I shook my head, "No, we have not."_

_"__Levi." He said._

_"__Lux." I said. He tilted his head as he held out his hand for me to shake. I took it. _

_"__Lux… The Latin word for light." _

_…_

**_So sorry I haven't updated, I meant to do so as soon as possible, but I was trying so hard to fix this chapter since it is very important in this story. Please let me know what you think, was Lux and Levi's meeting coincidental, or written? _**


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